The pupper

At first the pup caught my sight. He was in search of food. A pup so loveable, was going through the waste bags for scrambles.

Does he deserves this? No. Could he be given a home? Yes. But who had the heart for it? I had, only the heart though, not an environment to raise him. It’s sad that nobody cared to notice such a little thing with an empty stomach and a full heart on a busy road.

While I caught him munching on some plastic bag, somebody came to the rescue. It was this dog, which I thought would hurt him. Apparently it turned out to be his mother, who barked at him as if she was scolding him. The pup left the garbage and ran towards her. She had a treat for him in her mouth.

As I watched, the meal she brought for him was put on the floor. The pupper was sooooooo happy for it, yet he had the heart to share it with her. Kuddos to the mother for raising such a good boy!!! ♥️

Both were content, I guess so, that they got laid in the shade and started to have a family time. They made their home with each other.

I left watching them, having “only the heart” to raise them.

ആ യാത്ര

 

നാട് ചുറ്റണം എന്ന ആഗ്രഹവുമായി ഇറങ്ങി തിരിച്ചതാണ് ഞങ്ങൾ. സഞ്ചാരപ്രിയരായ ഞങ്ങൾ കമിതാക്കൾ. ഗൂഗിളിലും മറ്റും ഇതുവരെ സാഞ്ചാര – വിനോദ കേന്ദ്രങ്ങളായി പ്രഖ്യാപിക്കാത്ത പല സ്ഥലങ്ങളും കണ്ടെത്തി (സത്യം പറഞ്ഞാൽ വഴി തെറ്റി കണ്ടെത്തിയത്) ഉല്ലസിച്ചു. തിരികെ എത്തിയിട്ട് വേണം അതിനെ പറ്റിയെല്ലാം എഴുതാൻ എന്ന് ആലോചിച്ച് ഒരുതരം ആവേശത്തിൽ ആയിരുന്നു. മറക്കാതെ എഴുതാനുള്ള കുറിപ്പുകൾ ഡയറിയിലും ഫോണിലുമായി കുറിച്ചിട്ടു. ചിത്രങ്ങൾ പകർത്തിയിരുന്നു. വഴി തെറ്റി എത്തിയിടം എല്ലാം തന്നെ തന്നത് കിട്ടാക്കനി എന്ന് വിശേഷിപ്പിക്കാവുന്ന അനുഭവങ്ങൾ ആയിരുന്നു. എന്നാൽ ഒടുക്കം സംഭവിച്ചത് ഇനി അങ്ങോട്ടുള്ള യാത്രകളെ വേണ്ടെന്ന് വെപ്പിക്കുന്ന നടുക്കുന്ന അനുഭവങ്ങളും. എന്തെന്നല്ലെ… പറയാം…

ഓരോ അനുഭവങ്ങളും കാഴ്ചകളും യാത്രയെ പ്രേരിപ്പിച്ചു കൊണ്ടേയിരുന്നു… ഇതിനൊരു അവസാനമില്ലെന്ന് കരുതിയിരുന്നപ്പോൾ ആണ് അത്തരമൊരു സ്ഥലത്ത് എത്തിപ്പെട്ടത്. അതുവരെ കണ്ട ചിരിച്ച മുഖത്തോടു കൂടിയുള്ള ആളുകളെ അവിടെയെങ്ങും കാണാനില്ലായിരുന്നു. ഒരു തരം ഭീതി, പ്രതീക്ഷ, ദേഷ്യം, ദുരൂഹത കലർന്ന മുഖമുള്ള ആളുകൾ. കാമുകനോടൊപ്പം എന്നെ കണ്ടതു കൊണ്ടാണോ എന്നൊക്കെ സംശയിച്ചു പോയി. അതൊന്നും അവർക്കൊരു പ്രശ്നം അല്ലായിരുന്നെന്ന് പോകെ പോകെ മനസ്സിലായി. എന്താണ് യഥാർത്ഥ പ്രശ്നമെന്ന് കണ്ടെത്താനും പറ്റിയില്ല. എങ്കിൽ കണ്ടുമുട്ടിയ ഏവരും പറഞ്ഞത്, “വിശപ്പ് മാറിക്കിട്ടിയാൽ ധൈര്യത്തോടെ ജീവിക്കാം”, “വിശപ്പൊന്ന് അടങ്ങിയാൽ സഞ്ചരിക്കാം” എന്നൊക്കെ ആയിരുന്നു.

മുന്നോട്ട് പോകുന്നത് അത്ര പന്തിയല്ലെന്ന് തോന്നി തിരികെ വിട്ടാലോ എന്ന് ഞാൻ അവനോട് ചോദിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു. ഇത്രത്തോളം വന്നതല്ലേ, ഇവിടം കൂടി കണ്ടിട്ട് പോകാമെന്ന് അവനും പറഞ്ഞു. യാത്ര തുടരാനുള്ള മനസ്സ് എനിക്കില്ലായിരുന്നു. എന്തോ ഒരു ഭീതി പടർന്നിരുന്നു എന്നിൽ. അപ്പോഴൊക്കെ എന്നെ ആശ്വസിപ്പിച്ചുകൊണ്ട് അവൻ എന്റെ കൈ വിടാതെ നടന്നു. എങ്ങോട്ടേയ്ക്ക് പോകണം എന്ന് ഒരു പിടിയുമില്ലാതെ കുഴങ്ങി നിൽക്കുമ്പോൾ ആണ് ഒരു വിജനമായ മൺപ്രദേശത്തിനപ്പുറം അത്ര തന്നെ വിസ്തൃതിയിൽ ഉള്ള ചേരി പോലൊരിടം കണ്ടത്. കുടിലുകൾ കെട്ടിയിരുന്നു. അതിനപ്പുറം പച്ചപ്പ് കാണാമായിരുന്നു. ചെറിയ കുന്നുകൾ… വെള്ളമൊഴുകുന്ന ശബ്ദം… ക്യാമറ വഴി സൂം ചെയ്ത് നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ വളരെ മനോഹരം ആയൊരിടം!!! ഓടിപ്പോകുന്ന ഒരു കുഞ്ഞു മാനിനെ കണ്ടു. അരികെ ചാക്കുകളുമായി നിലത്തിരുന്ന് അടുപ്പത്ത് ഭക്ഷണം പാകം ചെയ്യുന്ന ചില മനുഷ്യർ. മരത്തണലിൽ ചിലർ ഉറങ്ങുന്നു. അവർ എറിഞ്ഞു കൊടുത്ത അരിമണികൾ കൊത്തിയെടുക്കാൻ എത്തിയ പക്ഷികൾ… മനസ്സൊന്നു തണുത്ത് വന്നപ്പോൾ അവനെന്റെ കൈ പിടിച്ചു കുലുക്കി. ചിരിച്ചുകൊണ്ട് ഞാൻ അവനെ നോക്കി. അവന്റെ മുഖത്ത് നിന്ന് ചിരി മാഞ്ഞിരുന്നു. അവൻ കൈ ചൂണ്ടിയിടത്തേയ്ക്ക് ഞാൻ കണ്ണു പായിച്ചു. ഞാൻ കണ്ട കാഴ്ച!!!

ഒരു കുഞ്ഞു കുട്ടി, ആണോ പെണ്ണോ എന്ന് അറിയാൻ വഴിയില്ല. ആകെ എല്ലും തോലുമായി ഇരിക്കുന്നു. വിരലുകൾ വായിലിട്ടുകൊണ്ട് ചേരിയിൽ ഉള്ള കുടിലുകൾ ഒന്നിൽ നിന്ന് ഇറങ്ങി വരുന്നു. കുട്ടിയുടെ അമ്മയാണെന്ന് തോന്നുന്നു, പുറകെ എത്തി. അവർക്കും മുഷിഞ്ഞ വേഷം. കുട്ടിയെ പോലെ തന്നെ, വിശപ്പ് അവരെ അലട്ടുന്നുണ്ട് എന്ന് തോന്നി. ചിലർ കൂടെ പുറത്തേയ്ക്ക് വരുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. എല്ലാവർക്കും ഒരേ അസുഖം ബാധിച്ച പോലുണ്ട്. വിശപ്പ്… ആ വാക്ക് നാട്ടുകാർ ഉപയോഗിച്ചത് എന്റെ മനസ്സിൽ മിന്നി മായ്ഞ്ഞു. ആ നാട്ടിൽ എന്തോ പ്രശ്നമുണ്ട്. വിശപ്പിനുള്ള വക ഇല്ലാഞ്ഞിട്ടാണോ, അതോ എന്തെങ്കിലും അസുഖം പടർന്നതാണോ എന്ന് മാത്രം വ്യക്തമായില്ല. ഒരു നീണ്ടു താണ നിരപ്പ് ഇറങ്ങി വേണമായിരുന്നു ആ ചേരിയിലെയ്ക്ക്‌ ഇറങ്ങാൻ. ചേരി കടന്നേ കുന്നുകൾക്ക്‌ അരികിൽ എത്താനും കഴിയൂ. എന്ത് ചെയ്യണമെന്ന് ശങ്കിച്ച് നിന്നപ്പോൾ അവൻ മുന്നോട്ട് പോകാമെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു. എന്റെ മനസ്സ് അതിനനുവദിച്ചില്ല. അവനെന്റെ കയ്യിൽ പിടിച്ച് മുന്നോട്ട് നടക്കാൻ നേരം നേരത്തെ കണ്ട നാട്ടുകാരിൽ ചിലർ കയ്യിൽ ഭാണ്ടങ്ങൾ ഏന്തി ദൂരത്ത് നിന്നും നോക്കി നിൽക്കുന്നത് കണ്ടു. അവർക്കും ഞങ്ങളോടൊപ്പം അപ്പുറം പോകണമെന്ന് മനസ്സിലായി. പക്ഷേ അവർ മുന്നോട്ട് വരുന്നില്ല. മടിച്ചു നിൽക്കുന്നു, എങ്കിലും അവരിൽ എന്തോ പ്രതീക്ഷ മിന്നി നിൽക്കുന്ന പോലെനിക്ക്‌ തോന്നി. ഞാൻ ആവുന്നത്ര അവനോട് കെഞ്ചി, തിരികെ പോകാമെന്ന്. ഞാൻ വന്നില്ലെങ്കിൽ ഒറ്റയ്ക്ക് പോകും എന്ന മട്ടിലായി അവൻ. അവനു കുന്ന് കയറിയേ തീരുള്ളു എന്ന്! അങ്ങനെ ഒറ്റയ്ക്ക് വിടാൻ ആവില്ലല്ലോ… രണ്ടും കൽപ്പിച്ച് മുന്നിലേയ്ക്ക് ഞങ്ങൾ നടന്നു.

നിരം ഇറങ്ങി തുടങ്ങിയപ്പോഴേ എന്റെ നെഞ്ച് വേഗത്തിൽ മിടിക്കാൻ തുടങ്ങി. എന്തോ അസ്വസ്ഥത. അവനോട് ചേർന്ന് നടക്കുന്നത് ആയിരുന്നു ഒരാശ്വാസം. അകലെ നിന്ന് നോക്കി നിന്നവരാരും തന്നെ തെല്ലൊന്ന് അനങ്ങിയില്ല. ആ കുട്ടി ഞങ്ങളെ കണ്ടു. ഞങ്ങൾക്ക് നേരെ കൈ ചൂണ്ടി. അവിടുള്ളവർ ഞങ്ങളെ ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചു തുടങ്ങി. അവരും എന്തോ പ്രതീക്ഷയോടെ ഞങ്ങളെ നോക്കി നിന്നു. പരസ്പരം സംസാരിക്കുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. എന്താണ് സംഭവിക്കുന്നതെന്ന് ഒരു പിടിയും ഇല്ല. അവരോട് അടുത്തപ്പോൾ അവർ വഴി മാറി തന്നു. ചേരിയിലെ മണം!!! നാറ്റം എന്ന് വേണം പറയാൻ. മനം മറിയും പോലൊക്കെ തോന്നി… ഓരോ മനുഷ്യരേയും കാണുംതോറും അസ്വസ്ഥത ഏറി വന്നതെയുള്ളൂ എനിക്ക്. അവനെ ഇതൊന്നും ബാധിക്കുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നില്ല. എത്രയെത്ര നാട് കണ്ടവനാണ്!! ഇതൊന്നും അവനു പുത്തരി ആയിരുന്നിരിക്കില്ല. എങ്കിലും….

രൂക്ഷ ഗന്ധം ഏറി വന്നു മുന്നോട്ട് നടക്കുന്തോറും. മൂക്ക് പൊത്തിയാണ് ഞാൻ നടന്നത്. അപ്പോഴും ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു തിരികെ പോകാമെന്ന്. തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ വഴി മാറി തന്നവരൊക്കെയും പുറകേയുണ്ട്. പിന്തുടരുന്നുണ്ട്. മനസ്സിലാവാത്ത ഭാഷയിൽ സംസാരിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. നാട്ടുകാർ നിരപ്പിന്റെ മേൽവക്കിൽ നിൽക്കുന്നതെയുള്ളു. കുറച്ചുകൂടി നടന്നാൽ കുന്നുകളിയേക്ക്‌ എത്താനുള്ള വഴിയായി. അങ്ങനെ ആശ്വസിച്ചു നടക്കുമ്പോൾ ആണ് ഞാനത് ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചത്. എല്ലുകൾ! കാളയുടെയോ എന്തോ ആണ്. പലയിടത്തായി എല്ലുകൾ കണ്ടു. അവന്റെ നടത്തത്തിന്റെ വേഗത കുറഞ്ഞ് എന്റെ കയ്യിൽ പിടിക്കുന്നതിന്റെ ശക്തി കൂടി തുടങ്ങിയപ്പോൾ ശരിക്കും എന്റെ ബോധം പോകുന്ന പോലെ തോന്നി. അവൻ നിന്നപ്പോൾ ഞാനും നിന്നു. മുഖത്തേയ്ക്ക് നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ അവന്റെ കണ്ണ് ഭയത്തിൽ വിടർന്നിരിക്കുന്നു. അവൻ നോക്കുന്നിടത്തെയ്ക്ക് ശ്രദ്ധിക്കും മുൻപ് ഞാനൊന്ന് തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കി. നാട്ടുകാർ നിരപ്പിൻെറ നടുക്ക് നിന്ന് ഞങ്ങളോട് മുന്നോട്ട് പോകാൻ തൊഴുതുകൊണ്ട് ആംഗ്യം കാണിക്കുന്നു. നേരത്തെ കണ്ട കുഞ്ഞ് നാവ് നനയ്ക്കുന്നു. ചേരിയിലെ ആൾകാർ ഇപ്പോഴും പ്രതീക്ഷയോടെ നോക്കുന്നു. ശേഷം മുന്നോട്ടെയ്ക്ക്‌ നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ മനസ്സിലായി അവൻ എന്ത് കണ്ടിട്ടാണ് നിന്നതെന്ന്. കുന്നിലേയ്ക്ക് കടക്കാൻ ഒരു ചെളിക്കുണ്ട് കടക്കണം. ആ ചെളിക്കുണ്ടിന് അരികിലായി നിരത്തി ഇട്ടിരിക്കുന്നു മനുഷ്യ തലയോട്ടികൾ! വിശപ്പ്… ആ വാക്ക് വീണ്ടും എന്റെ മനസ്സിലേക്ക് മിന്നി മാഞ്ഞു.

എന്റെ നട്ടെല്ലിലൂടെ തണുപ്പ് ഇരച്ചു കയറിയത് ഞാനറിയുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. ബോധം പോകുമെന്ന അവസ്ഥയെത്തിയപ്പോൾ ഉള്ളിൽ നിന്ന് ആരോ വിളിച്ചുണർത്തിയ പോലെ, ഇതല്ല വീഴേണ്ട സമയം എന്ന് അലറി. മുന്നോട്ടെയ്ക്ക് ഓടാൻ മനസ്സിനെ തയ്യാറാക്കിയപ്പോഴേയ്ക്കും ഒരു അലർച്ചയോടെ ആരോ എന്റെ ബാഗിൽ പിടികൂടി. അവന്റെയും. ഞങ്ങൾ രണ്ടുപേരും കുതറിയോടി. എന്റെ കൈ അവൻ വിട്ടില്ല. ഞാൻ ഇടയ്ക്കിടെ തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കി. പ്രതീക്ഷയോടെ നോക്കി നിന്ന അവരുടെ മുഖഭാവം മാറിയിരിക്കുന്നു. ഇരയെ മുന്നിൽ കിട്ടിയ വിശന്നിരുന്ന കാട്ടുമൃഗത്തിന്റെ ഭാവമാണ് അവരിൽ കണ്ടതും, ഓട്ടത്തിന്റെ വേഗത കൂടാൻ കാരണമായതും. വിശപ്പ് അടങ്ങുന്നതിന്റെ പ്രതീക്ഷ ആയിരുന്നു ഞാനവരിൽ കണ്ടത്! കുന്നുകൾക്ക് അരികെ കണ്ട നാട്ടുകാർ തൊഴുതുകൊണ്ട്‌ ഞങ്ങളോട് നിൽക്കാൻ അപേക്ഷിക്കുന്നു. അവിടെ കണ്ട എല്ലുകൾ ഒരു ജന്തുവിന്റെയും അല്ലെന്ന് കൂടി മനസ്സിലായപ്പോൾ എന്റെ കണ്ണിൽ ഇരുട്ടു കയറാൻ തുടങ്ങി. എങ്കിലും, ഇപ്പൊൾ തളർന്നാൽ ഇനിയൊരിക്കലും കണ്ണ് തുറക്കേണ്ടി വരില്ലെന്ന് ബോധ്യമായപ്പോൾ അവന്റെ കയ്യും പിടിച്ച് ഞാൻ വഴി തെളിച്ചു. എന്ത് വേണമെന്ന് എനിക്കറിയാമായിരുന്നു.

ഓട്ടത്തിനിടെ പിൻവഴിയിൽ കണ്ട എല്ലിൻ കഷ്ണങ്ങളും കല്ലുകളും ഞങ്ങൾക്ക് നേരെ എറിയുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു അവർ. ബാഗിന് അത്യാവശ്യം നീളം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നതിനാൽ തലയ്ക്ക് ഏറു കൊണ്ടില്ല. ഞങ്ങളുടെ കയ്യും കാലും ഒക്കെ ഏറു കൊണ്ട് ഉരസിപ്പോയി. ഇടയ്ക്ക് തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കിയ അവന്റെ മുഖത്തിനും ഏറു കിട്ടി. അവരുടെ അലർച്ച! ഞങ്ങളിൽ നിന്ന് പൊടിഞ്ഞ ചോര അവരുടെ ആവേശം കൂട്ടിയിരിക്കണം… അവനോട് ഞാൻ തളരരുതെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടേയിരുന്നു. മുന്നിൽ കാൽ തട്ടി വീഴാൻ പാകത്തിനുള്ള തടസ്സങ്ങൾ കണ്ടപ്പോൾ അവനു നിർദ്ദേശം കൊടുത്തുകൊണ്ടേയിരുന്നു. ഇടയ്ക്ക് എന്റെ കാലൊന്ന് തെറ്റി. എല്ലാം അവസാനിച്ചെന്ന് കരുതിയപ്പൊഴെയ്ക്കും അവനെന്നെ എവിടുന്നോ വന്ന ശക്തിയിൽ താങ്ങിയെടുത്ത് കൈ പിടിച്ച് വഴി തെളിച്ചു. കാൽ തെറ്റിയ സമയത്ത് പുറകെ വന്ന ആരോ ചവിട്ടിയിരുന്നു. തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കാതെ തന്നെ മനസ്സിലായി, അവർ എത്ര അടുത്തായിരുന്നു എന്ന്.

ചളിക്കുണ്ട് എത്തി. തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കാനോ ആലോചിച്ച് നിൽക്കാനോ സമയമില്ല. അവനെയും കൊണ്ട് അതിലേയ്ക്ക് ചാടി. അവരുടെ അലർച്ച ഇപ്പൊൾ ഒരുതരം രോദനം പോലെയായി. അതെന്നിൽ ഒരു പ്രതീക്ഷ തന്നു. വേഗം ഒട്ടും കുറയ്ക്കാതെ തന്നെ ചളിക്കുണ്ടിലൂടെ ഞങ്ങൾ നീങ്ങി. അബദ്ധം ആയോ??? ചതുപ്പ് പോലുണ്ട്. ഉദ്ദേശിച്ചതിലും ആഴമുണ്ട്. മുന്നിലുള്ള നാട്ടുകാർ തിരികെ പോകാൻ ആംഗ്യം കാണിക്കുന്നു. ഇപ്പൊൾ അവരുടെ മുഖത്താണ് ദേഷ്യം. അവരും ഞങ്ങൾക്ക് നേരെ കല്ലെറിയാൻ ഭാവിച്ചു. ഞാൻ പാതി മുങ്ങി നിൽക്കുകയാണ്. അവരോട് തൊഴുതു പറഞ്ഞു, എറിയരുതെന്ന്. അവരുടെ മുഖവും, തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ കണ്ട ചേരിയിലെ ആൾക്കാരുടെയും മുഖത്ത് ഒരേ ഭാവമാണിപ്പോൾ. പ്രതീക്ഷ വറ്റിയിരുക്കുന്നു. നിരപ്പ് ഇറങ്ങി തുടങ്ങിയ ആൾക്കാരെ കാണുന്നില്ല. അവർ തിരികെ ഓടി പോയിരിക്കണം. ചേരിയിൽ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നവർ വിശപ്പിനു അടിമകൾ ആയിരുന്നു. അവരുടെ ഭക്ഷണം, മനുഷ്യരും. നരഭോജികൾ…!!!

ചളിക്കുണ്ടിൽ മുന്നോട്ട് ആഞ്ഞ് നീങ്ങുമ്പോഴും വെളുത്ത എല്ലിൻകഷ്‌ണങ്ങൾ കണ്ടുകിട്ടി. തലയോട്ടികളും… മനം പുരട്ടിയെങ്കിലും അപ്പൊൾ ഞങ്ങൾ ഇരുവരും പ്രാണൻ രക്ഷിക്കാനുള്ള തത്രപ്പാടിൽ ആയിരുന്നു. താഴ്ന്നു പോകും എന്ന് അറിയാമായിരുന്നു, എന്നിട്ടും അങ്ങോട്ടെയ്ക് ചാടിയത് പ്രതീക്ഷയുടെ കച്ചിത്തുരുമ്പിന്മേൽ ആയിരുന്നു. കീറിപ്പറിച്ച് അവരുടെ ഭക്ഷണം ആകുന്നതിലും ഭേദമെന്ന് തോന്നിയിട്ടായിരുന്നു. ഹൈകിംഗ് എന്ന ലക്ഷ്യം യാത്രയുടെ ഭാഗം ആയതിനാൽ ബാഗിൽ കരുതിയിരുന്ന കയറും കൊളുത്തും രക്ഷയായി… എന്റെ മനസ്സ് ബുദ്ധി പ്രവർത്തിപ്പിക്കാൻ വൈകിയെങ്കിലും അവന്റെ സമയത്തിനുള്ള ഇടപെടൽ ഞങ്ങൾ ഇരുവരുടെയും രക്ഷയായി. അഞ്ചോ ആറോ വട്ടത്തെ ശ്രമത്തിനൊടുവിൽ ബാഗുകൾ കരയ്ക്ക് എറിഞ്ഞ്, പതിയെ മുന്നോട്ട് ചവിട്ടി നീങ്ങി… അവരുടെ കല്ലേറു പിന്നിൽ നിന്നും കിട്ടുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. എന്റെ തലയിൽ കൊള്ളാതിരിക്കാൻ അവൻ തന്നെ എനിക്ക് മറയായി നിന്നു. അവനു പൊക്കം ഉള്ളത് ഞങ്ങൾ രണ്ടാളുടെയും ഭാഗ്യം!! എനിക്ക് നിലം വരെ കാൽ എത്തിയില്ല എങ്കിലും അവനു സാധ്യമായിരുന്നു. എന്നെയും കൊണ്ട് കരയ്ക്ക് അടുക്കുമ്പോൾ കയ്യിൽ കരുതിയിരുന്ന കയർ കരയിൽ എറിഞ്ഞുറപ്പിച്ച് (അതും പെടാപ്പാട് പെട്ട്‌!!!) ഒരുവിധം ഇഴഞ്ഞ് കരയ്ക്കെത്തി… എന്റെ കഴുത്തറ്റം വരെ ചെളി… അവനു നെഞ്ച് വരെയും… കരയിൽ കിടക്കുമ്പോഴും ഞാൻ പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ചത് അവിടെയുണ്ടായിരുന്ന നാട്ടുകാർ ഞങ്ങളെ ഉപദ്രവിക്കും എന്നാണ്. പിന്നാലെ വന്ന മനുഷ്യരും ഞങ്ങൾക്ക് അരികെ എത്തും എന്നാണ്. രണ്ടും സംഭവിച്ചില്ല…

മനസ്സൊന്നു ആശ്വസിച്ചു വന്നപ്പോൾ എന്റെ കയ്യിൽ അവനൊന്നു ഞെക്കി. എന്നെ നോക്കി ചിരിച്ചു. “ഇനിയും തെണ്ടാൻ ഇറങ്ങണോ ഇതുപോലെ?” എന്ന് ഞാൻ ചോദിച്ചു… “ആദ്യം ഇവിടുന്ന് കടക്കാം. ഇത് അവസാനത്തെ ആണ്” എന്ന് അവനും.

ഞങ്ങൾ എഴുന്നേറ്റു, കെട്ടിപ്പുണർന്നു. ചുറ്റിനുമുള്ളത് പിന്നീട് ഞാൻ ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചില്ല. കണ്ണടച്ച് നിന്ന് അവനെയും കെട്ടിപ്പിടിച്ച് ആ ചൂട് പറ്റിപ്പിടിച്ച് നിന്നു. വീശിയ കാറ്റിനെയും ഏറ്റ വെയിലിനെയും ആസ്വദിച്ചു. ഹൃദയമിടിപ്പിന്റെ വേഗത കുറഞ്ഞ് വന്നു, അവന്റെയും എനിക്ക് അറിയാൻ പറ്റുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. ദൈവത്തിനോട് നന്ദി പറയുകയായിരുന്നു മനസ്സിൽ.

ശേഷം അവിടുള്ള ആളുകളെ നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ അവരാകെ വിഷണ്ണർ ആയിരിക്കുന്നു. മടിച്ച് മടിച്ച് മറ്റു വഴിയില്ലാതെ അവരോട് ചോദിക്കേണ്ടി വന്നു, അവിടുന്ന് കടക്കാൻ എന്താ വഴി എന്ന്. “വിശപ്പ് അടങ്ങണം”, എന്ന് മാത്രമായിരുന്നു മറുപടി.

ഏകദേശം രണ്ടു ദിവസത്തോളം അക്കരെ ചിലവഴിക്കേണ്ടി വന്നു. ഭാഗ്യം! ഞങ്ങളുടെ പക്കൽ ഭക്ഷണ വസ്തുക്കൾ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നത്. ഞങ്ങളുടെ കൂടെയുണ്ടായിരുന്നവർ തേനും, കായ്കനികളും, മാംസവും മീനും മറ്റും ശേഖരിക്കാൻ ആണ് അക്കരെ കടന്നത്. അവരുടെ ജീവിത മാർഗം… ആ നാട്ടിലെ പ്രശ്നവും, അവിടുത്തെ മനുഷ്യരുടെ അവസ്ഥയും ആലോചിച്ചപ്പോൾ കഷ്ടം തോന്നി. ഭീതിയും. ഉറങ്ങുന്നത് തന്നെ കരുതലോടെ ആയിരിക്കുമല്ലോ. ഏത് സമയത്തും ആക്രമണം പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ച്… ഇൗ രണ്ടു ദിവസവും മറുകര നിന്ന് കേട്ട അലർച്ചയും കരച്ചിലും എല്ലാം ഞങ്ങളുടെ ഉറക്കം കെടുത്തി… മൂന്നാം ദിനം സംഭവിച്ചത്:

ഉച്ചയോടടുപ്പിച്ച് മറുകര ഉള്ളവരിൽ ആരോ ഒരു കാളക്കൂറ്റനെ തളളി വിട്ടെന്ന് തോന്നുന്നു. ആ ജീവി തിരിഞ്ഞോടാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നത് കാണാം. അതിനു കാര്യം അറിയാമായിരിക്കും. അപ്പുറത്ത് നിന്ന് വലിയ പാത്രങ്ങൾ കൊട്ടി ശബ്ദം ഉണ്ടാക്കുന്നത് കേട്ടു. ബലിമൃഗം… ചേരി മനുഷ്യർ ഇറങ്ങുന്നത് കണ്ടു. ആർക്കും ആ ഇരയിൽ താൽപര്യമില്ല. അവരുടെ നോട്ടം ആ കാളയെ വിട്ട് മറ്റൊരിടത്തേക്ക് പാഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ പാത്രം കൊട്ടൽ നിന്നു. നാട്ടുകാർ ജീവനും കൊണ്ട് ഓടിയിരിക്കണം. ഇപ്പൊൾ ആ പാവത്തിന്റെ കരച്ചിൽ മാത്രം കേൾക്കാം. നോക്കി നിൽക്കാൻ ശേഷിയില്ലാത്തതു കൊണ്ട് ഞാൻ അവിടുന്ന് എഴുന്നേറ്റു പോയി. ചെവി പൊത്തി നിന്നു. പോയ വഴി കൂടെയുള്ളവരുടെ മുഖം ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചു, തെളിച്ചം തിരികെ വന്നിരിക്കുന്നു… അൽപ നേരത്തിന് ശേഷം ചേരിയിൽ നിന്ന് ആർപ്പ്‌ വിളി കേട്ടു. കാളയുടെ കരച്ചിലും. അവരുടെ അലർച്ചയിലും ആവേശത്തിന്റെ വിളിയിലും ആ ജന്തുവിന്റെ ഒച്ച മുങ്ങിപ്പോയി. പിന്നീട് അതും കേൾക്കാതെ ആയി. എല്ലാം തീർന്നെന്ന് തോന്നുന്നു. ചെവി പൊത്തി കണ്ണടച്ച് നിൽക്കുമ്പോഴും അവിടെ സംഭവിക്കുന്നതെന്തെന്ന് മനസ്സിൽ കാണുകയായിരുന്നു. നിശ്ശബ്ദത പടർന്നിട്ടും മനസ്സിലെ മടുപ്പ് മാറിയില്ല. തിരികെ പോകാൻ തോന്നിയില്ല. ഏത് നശിച്ച നേരത്താണ് ഇവിടം വരാൻ തോന്നിയതെന്ന് വരെ ഓർത്തു. അപ്പോഴാണ് എന്റെ ചിന്തകളെ ഭേദിച്ച് ഒരു മനുഷ്യന്റെ അലർച്ച കേട്ടത്!!! അതെനിക്ക് നോക്കാതിരിക്കാൻ ആയില്ല. ഓടിച്ചെന്നപ്പോൾ കണ്ടത്…

അവർ അവരുടെ കൂട്ടത്തിൽ ഒരാളെ പിച്ചിച്ചീന്തുന്നു! അവറ്റകൾക്ക് വിശപ്പ് ഒടുങ്ങിയിട്ടില്ല! പ്രായം ചെന്ന ഒരാളെയാണ് അവർ ഇരയാക്കിയത്. അയാൾ അവരെയും തിരികെ ഉപദ്രവിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. അവശൻ ആയതിനാൽ ആവും കീഴടക്കാൻ അവർക്ക് സാധിച്ചത്. അവരെല്ലാം അയാളെ പൊതിയുന്നതും കണ്ടു, അയാളുടെ അലർച്ച നേർത്തു വരുന്നതും കേട്ടു… പച്ച മാംസം അവർ പിന്നിലേയ്ക്ക് എറിയുന്നു. എനിക്ക് ഇപ്രാവശ്യം കണ്ണടച്ച് നിൽക്കാൻ ആയില്ല. അവരുടെ ആർത്തി ഞാൻ നേരിൽ കാണുകയായിരുന്നു. അവൻ എന്നെ തിരിച്ചു നിർത്താൻ ശ്രമിച്ചെങ്കിലും ഞാൻ തടഞ്ഞു. എനിക്ക് കാണണമായിരുന്നു ആ കാഴ്ച. കൗതുകം പൂണ്ടിട്ടല്ല. കാൽ തെറ്റി വീണപ്പോൾ എഴുന്നേൽക്കാൻ അന്നേരം പറ്റിയില്ലായിരുന്നുവെങ്കിൽ അയാളുടെ സ്ഥാനത്ത് ഞാൻ ആയിരുന്നേനെ… അവരെന്നെ എങ്ങനെ ഭക്ഷണം ആക്കുമെന്ന് അയാളുടെ സ്ഥാനത്ത് നിന്ന് ഞാൻ എന്നെ തന്നെ നോക്കി കാണുകയായിരുന്നു.

അവരുടെ കൃത്യങ്ങൾ അവസാനിച്ചു. അയാൾ കിടന്നിടം ഒരു പൊടി പോലുമില്ല… എല്ലുകൾ അല്ലാതെ. കൈ നക്കിതുടച്ച് അവരെല്ലാം അവരവരുടെ കുടിലുകളിലെയ്ക്ക്‌ പിൻവാങ്ങുന്നു. എങ്കിലും ഏവരുടെയും കയ്യിൽ ഇരയുടെ ഒരു പങ്ക് കരുതിയിട്ടുമുണ്ട്. അതവർ കഴിക്കുന്നില്ല. വിശപ്പ് അടങ്ങിയിരിക്കുന്നു… അപ്പോഴാണ് അക്കരെ നിന്നും നാട്ടുകാർ ഭാണ്ടങ്ങളുമായി വരുന്നത് കണ്ടത്. അവർ ഇപ്പൊൾ ചിരിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. എന്റെ കൂടെയുള്ളവരെ നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ അവരും ചിരിക്കുന്നു. “വിശപ്പ് അടങ്ങി, ഇനി ധൈര്യമായി സഞ്ചരിക്കാം” എന്നവർ ഞങ്ങളോട് പറഞ്ഞു. ചളിക്കുണ്ടിലൂടെ താഴാതെ എങ്ങനെ കടക്കാമെന്ന് അവർ കാണിച്ചു തന്നു. പക്ഷേ അതിന് അത്യാവശ്യം പൊക്കം വേണം. ഞാൻ അവനെ വിടാതെ പിടിച്ചു. അവൻ എന്നെയും… ഇരു കരയിൽ നിന്നും ആളുകൾ അങ്ങോട്ടും ഇങ്ങോട്ടും കടന്നു. അവർക്കിപ്പോൾ ചേരി കടക്കാൻ പേടിയില്ല. മുഖം നിറയെ സന്തോഷം ആണ്. എന്നോട് ആദ്യം സംസാരിച്ച ഒരു മനുഷ്യൻ ഞങ്ങൾ അവിടുന്ന് കടക്കുമ്പോൾ നോക്കി ചിരിച്ചു.

ചേരി വഴി നടക്കുമ്പോൾ എനിക്ക് പേടിയായിരുന്നു. അവശിഷ്ടങ്ങൾ കണ്ട് ഛർദ്ദിക്കാൻ ആണ് തോന്നിയത്. അരികിൽ അവൻ ഉണ്ടായത് കൊണ്ട് എന്തെന്നില്ലാത്ത സമാധാനവും. ഓരോ കുടിലും കടക്കുമ്പോൾ ഞാൻ ആക്രമണം പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ചു. ഉണ്ടായില്ല… കുടിലുകൾക്ക്‌ ഉള്ളിലേയ്ക്ക് നോക്കി. ഒന്നും കാണാൻ പറ്റുന്നില്ല. “അവരിനി ശല്യം ചെയ്യില്ല” എന്നാണ് ഒരാൾ എന്റെ നോട്ടം കണ്ടിട്ട് പറഞ്ഞത്. അവർക്ക് വിശപ്പ് അടങ്ങിയിരിക്കുന്നു… ഇനി പേടിക്കേണ്ടതില്ല. നിരപ്പും കടന്നു, മൺപാടവും കടന്നു. ആരോടും ഒന്നും മിണ്ടാൻ നിക്കാതെ ഞങ്ങൾ അവിടം വിട്ടു പോകുകയും ചെയ്തു. നടുക്കത്തോടെ, ആശ്വാസത്തോടെ…

Trust your instincts first ♥️

How I kept leaning on to the wrong shoulder(s)… I paid a great price. 

I was blind, naive enough not to look, that I put my trust in the wrong soul. My inner sense kept on telling me something is wrong, but I had a heart so tender which made me choose otherwise. All those days in which the pillow felt my tears, I felt bad that I never trusted my instincts. The tender little heart of mine then misguided me, asked me to hurt myself. Or to spill the pain to someone else. On anybody, anybody at all. My inner sense still rang the warning bell…! 

I paid the price for listening to my heart. Or putting faith in it while it was not strong enough. The pain I felt on my bosom, was caused entirely by my fault. Because I failed my senses when they were guiding me right. Who am I to blame anybody anyway, when I trusted them more than myself…?!

My own fingers pointed against me, and I admitted it. It’s only when you accept your mistakes, you’ll be able to overcome them. It’s hard, yet I succeeded. My heart is stupid. I had to follow my senses, and make my tiny little heart follow them too. Make them partners in crime. 

The tender beating meat shed its skin, hardened over time, and is now something trustworthy. It doesn’t ask to get hurt or hurt anyone anymore. The occasional pain which pops up is treasured, nobody even knows it’s there.

Live and let live, forgive and forget is all that the partnership does now. Why worry? I live freely, not anymore relying on shoulders, for I have my own, for I don’t cry anymore. I got everything that’s needed, within me.

Beauty and the Beast (Bedtime story) – A Criticism

It’s easy to fall in love with the Beauty. But the beast? Are you sure there was nothing wrong??

The stories we heard growing up, almost all of them involved abduction, killing, betrayal and what not?? We were too little to understand such things. And the storytellers made sure that the hero/heroine always played a central role, saves the damsel in distress, and concludes the tale with a “happily ever after”.

We kids were so fascinated by the central character that whatever the hero did was considered as a good deed. How many kids bother about the other guy who got killed or “banished” by the hero/heroine? How many kids think otherwise? Those are rare cases and such rare kids are precious. They know what life is already, deep within.

Coming to the story of Beauty and the Beast… Beauty was named so because of her beauty, born to a low/middle-class family (not sure, the story keeps changing), motherless, youngest of all and her father’s princess. She is defined as a lady with class, hardworking, kind, lovely, lovable, passionate, ambitious and so on…

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My question:

Why did no other men in her town approach her? It’s not mentioned anywhere in the story that somebody liked her (except in the movie). Means there was something about her which made no one approached her. Even if it happened, she was what? Waiting for prince charming to come?

Did she not get a suitor from her town itself? According to the story she lived in a small town, living like everyone else. Some stories say that she was rich, and became poor because of her father’s career failure. Means she was supposed to find her man from the town itself, or from a nearby place. She knew the kind of beauty she was and maybe, she really was ambitious. She indeed waited for a prince charming.

 

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She ended up with the beast, because of her father stealing a rose from Beast’s garden. Fate turned her plate since.

She lived in a castle afterward, with the Beast, and also with servants ready at her service. A dream-come-true for a small town girl. I wouldn’t blame the Beast to fall in love with her. Anybody could. For she was beautiful, loving and kind. I really doubt any such girl could love a Beast, provided she had to trade her life in turn of her father’s who was about to be sentenced to death by the creature for stealing his rose.

Beast accommodated her, not because of love at first sight, but because of hope. Hope to lift the curse. It is also clear in the actual story that nobody else ever lived in the castle since the curse. Naturally, he expected the first visitor, first female visitor, in this case, our Beauty to do the job.

BEAUTY HATED HIM UNTIL SHE LEARNED ABOUT THE CURSE.

And that’s where the point is to be noted. She had to convince him and the fairy that she loved him. Should the curse be lifted, she would become a princess, and the Beast would go back to his true form, the prince. If not, still she could live like one. “Opportunity knocks at your door only once” and I will say that she used that chance well.

Such a smart girl would always understand that be it living with a prince charming, or a farmer, married life is similar. It would differ when it comes to things that she was going to get. Either way, she was going to get all good things. Well played Beauty, you became the heroine!!!

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She had to leave the castle for a while when she learned her father was ill.

Point noted: She loved her father, and left immediately.

Beast was so much in love with her that he gave her his magic mirror, so that she can see how he’s doing whenever she looks at it. To remind her that he’s there, waiting for her return.

She took care of her father, and nearly forgot to view the mirror. Beast fell ill by the time, near to death. Oh, come on… How do you think that happened? Unless and until we hate/dislike somebody, we care less for them. In the story, it is said that she loved the Beast like anything.

I could have complained if it was a matter of phone call or video call. We tend to use phones and emails less after getting tired. If at all its an emergency, calls would come to us, even if we don’t make one. But in this case??? Guess… How much time she had to spend just to look at the mirror?

She forgot… FORGOT. She forgot her so-called beloved. Do you call that love? I don’t. I mean, look at her. She remembered her father while living with the Beast, and forgot him while she left.

Either she was trying to stay away or was really busy (that kind of busy, that she never even viewed an ordinary mirror too. If she looked at some mirror, she would obviously remember the magical mirror, and the Beast too). Ha!!! How practical is that???

 

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It is said that she had a dream of Beast lying frozen on the floor and it was then she viewed the mirror. Some stories say that she was going through her stuff and caught the mirror in sight by chance and she viewed it. Anyway, she left her place and rode to the castle.

The Beast loved her sincerely. (Well, you can find a criticism on his side too though!!!)

Some stories say that he was dying in grief. Some say that he fell ill in the absence of Beauty. And some say that the villagers attacked him. In all the cases, Beast was about to die, and also was waiting for the smart damsel.

She finally says it out loud that she loved him. And voila!!! The Beast is back to life and transforms back into his human form. What more is needed for her…

SHE IS A F*KING PRINCESS NOW!!!

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When you tell your kid such a fairy tale, think next time. And explain to them that it’s not how the kids are supposed to treat anyone when they grow up. These fairy tales have dark sides too… Only rare thinkers would get that. It can be very misleading.

It’s really funny how these stories are made up… And I really wonder how many kids think like me. We all grew up by listening to stories that were actually sci-fic / horror-thrillers, and we were too young to understand that. 

Anyway, your criticism is accepted too… Thank you!!!

My dream catcher

What made all those nightmares to play on my head, I never found out. I watch fewer horror movies or read less horror-thriller stories. Even on social media, upon seeing a creepy picture I would scroll it out in a jiffy. In short, a scaredy cat I’m. Hence I avoided all those situations which would freak me out.

Recently, like for the last four months, I’ve not been sleeping very well. Either I would wake up in the middle of my sleep many times, or doesn’t sleep at all. Reason? Nightmares. Scary ones that wake me up, or don’t let me sleep. But also the kind which I forget in the morning. ALWAYS. I just remember it as something scary, in fragments, unable to conclude what it was. I never could understand what was the source of these dreams. It just came all of a sudden to me.

In that case, I should take some precautions, right? I’ve heard a lot about dream-catchers. And have adored many. The feather tails… the arranged beads… the cute look of it itself is something worth to stare for long. I am not superstitious. I don’t believe dream-catchers would actually catch bad dreams but would give the confidence to think right, dream right. I got one for myself. From a spiritual store of course.  I was confused. The lady at the store assured me it would help me sleep. Thought I would try it out.

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Day 1.

I was examining my dream catcher. Why they are so special? What made them catch the dreams?? I don’t know. Guess I’ll find it out soon. After admiring the beauty of my personal dream catcher, I set it on my bed, just above my head. I kept waking up in between, only it wasn’t because of the dreams!! It was the wind. So it worked!!! My bad dreams are actually caught. Finally, I had a good sleep after a long time.

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Day2.

I missed a good sleep for a long time. I felt sleepy in the day too. But the routine was so strict that I couldn’t. 4 months ago, I wanted the day to be longer, and now it was the night time I waited for. The second day with my dream catcher went well… I thought of giving it a name but felt stupid. I set aside that idea. Before sleeping, I had a good look at it and kissed it. I fell asleep right away, and this time, even winds couldn’t wake me up.

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Day ‘I don’t remember exactly’.

It’s been a few days sleeping with my dream catcher. The only problem I faced was its tail kept on caressing my face, which woke me up. This could be solved immediately. I just had to switch side. I did. Now it was my feet which got caressed, almost tickling. Now that my dreams got over, a new problem started. I didn’t like getting up in middle of the sleep at all. I had a solution for that too. Keep it away from my bed. I hang it on my window.

That night, I had the most horrifying dream ever!! Earlier I couldn’t remember faces, but this one…

A lady was there in my dreams, grabbing me by my neck. Almost choking me to death. Lady with brown eyes and smokey makeup, weird fur coat dressing, dashing white teeth, red stained lips… ‘Charming’ in one word but her eyes while she tried to kill me… Horrifying.

I woke up that night and immediately ran towards my dream catcher. I took it in my hands and kept it at its old spot. Though it took a while for me to fall asleep, I had no such dream that night.

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Day(s) ‘trials’.

I couldn’t get that woman’s picture out of my mind. My mind said I knew her. I couldn’t place her though. Well, I noticed one more thing. Whenever the dream catcher was hung on my bed, I slept sound, except for the tickling it made. No nightmares. Whenever I kept it away, the mysterious woman came as a nightmare. I kept on shifting my dream catcher to new places, to see if it would still happen.

After so many trials, I came to a conclusion. I had no nightmare only when the dream catcher was hung on my bed. Every time else that woman came, every time killing me in a different manner.  All my nightmares with her ended in the same manner though. Before taking my life, my weak-dying eyes and her furious-wide eyes showed in a close up simultaneously. Like in movies. And finally, when my eyes close, I woke up.

I never could derivate why this was happening. I was feeling annoyed to share this matter to anybody for they could take me for a psycho. The dream catcher I bought is doing this…? Or is it just in my head…? I never understood.

I knew only one thing. Before the dream catcher, there were no women or men trying to kill me this intense. But after it, it’s only one woman who was so desperate to take my life. One charming, deadly woman.

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Day ‘horrified’

The season has changed. And so has the winds. And every night, I couldn’t help the tickles my dream catcher gave me. It was annoying. When the tickles were so bad, I woke up, grunting cursing. I had no choice to keep it elsewhere, for the woman can kill my sleep.

This day, this weird day… my dream catcher was behaving differently. The winds were so kind these days but still. The tickling got worse. I woke up like 5 to 6 times. Thank God, it wasn’t a wind chime!!! I would have killed the man if he said a wind chime would catch dreams. Thank God it was feathers. I couldn’t stand the tickling, and I decided to hang it elsewhere. Let the lady come, it’s just a dream, after all, I thought.

I hang it by the window and went to sleep. I had no dream, but something even worse. Something, I hope it was some sound from outside woke me up. Since waking up and looking first right at my dream catcher became a habit, my half-opened eyes gave it a shot. My pupils were adjusting to the light, and by the time something that I saw in that blurry vision got my jaws dropped, making me forget to breathe.

The circular face of my dream catcher looked like that woman’s face!!! The design within the circle was glowing, like her eyes!!! The shadow beneath it on the wall was touching till the floor, making it look like her body. The feathers around it made it seem like her fur coat. It was as if she was staring right at me!!! I FORGOT TO BREATHE.

I jumped up on my bed in reaction, and the vision was clear now. There was nothing. Nothing at all. It was just in my head. My dream catcher was moving side to side slowly in the breeze. However, the scary part of that night was, it wasn’t a dream which scared me. It wasn’t in a dream I saw her again. It was with my open eyes. My head really started playing with me.

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Day ‘unforgettable’

Even though the dream catcher caught my nightmares, tickled me all night, I couldn’t look at it the way I did before. After seeing the woman in its face, it was hard for me to keep it. I thought of throwing it away, but then again, the thought of her coming to my dream still scared me. I wasn’t ready to take that chance. I grew suspicious of my beautiful dream catcher. It had to do something with all this.

That night, I caught something. While asleep, as usual, it tickled me. I used to pull my leg right away or get up while it happened. I purposefully kept my legs still this time. It was still tickling me, at intervals. But… GOSH, how did I fail to observe this all along!!! It was tickling me rhythmically. Slowly… as if it was caressing me. Going by its length, and its position on my bed, it was supposed to reach just 2 inches (no more) above my knuckle, but this did more.

I had a chill through my spine. I slowly moved the blanket from my face, laying still, I slowly raised my head up to see what was happening. I was shocked at the sight.

The dream catcher was unusually lifted up till its face while its tail moved up on my feet, and went back to the resting position upon reaching my toes. WHAT THE HELL… it was caressing my feet!!!

I was stuck between reality and dream. I was shocked, knowing not what to do. It was moving just like hands… It tickled because the tails were feather… What have I done? I’m being haunted now? But by what??

Suddenly, a memory flashed. The lady who sold this to me… She’s the one who comes into my dream!!! At the store, she was formally dressed, and in my dreams, like a witch.

I remember how she gracefully stared right into my eyes and said, “You will sleep well from now on. Keep it near you” with a wide smile. I felt uneasy at her stare and smile, though envied her for it was so seductive. I tried copying her smile and eye contact after leaving the store, and I ended up being laughed at.

So it’s her… But why would she try to kill me in my dream??? I couldn’t sleep that night.

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Day ‘of truth’

I collected all my guts the next morning, deciding to visit the store. I drove to the store shortly after 10am. My mind was not stable and was running between two decisions. To go and unveil the mystery, or just ignore. I took the dream catcher too. After about a 15 minutes drive, I reached the store. I made up my mind and then stepped into the store.

My eyes shot straight at the billing desk to find her, but it was another woman who was present. I walked around the store for a while, seeing that she was watching me. I then picked up a crystal – uncut, almost in the shape of a crown for the sake of conversing with the lady. I walked up to the desk and asked her what was the crystal for. She started explaining something about good luck, to which I wasn’t paying attention.

“Is this your store?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said happily.

“Oh”, I smiled. “Is it just you working here? Nobody else?”

Her face faded. Her smile withdrew right away. Then she gave me a faded smile and said, “There was. Now it’s only me.”

My spine felt the chill that went up. I was about to say something when she pointed to a framed photograph near her desk. She said, “It’s my sister. Merin. Now she’s no more.”

I expected this. “I am sorry. How long has she been…?”

“It’s been three years.”

WHOA!! Wait!! That was unexpected. Now it all made sense. So… Oh, God. It’s really her who’s scaring me now. I felt it would be stupid to share this with the lady. When she started staring at me, seeing my face, I felt odd. Who knows if she’s another ghost too? The last time I was stared at, I still carry the token of it. I didn’t want another. I kept the crystal on her desk, and fled away by the time she asked if anything was wrong.

I drove back faster.

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Day ‘good riddance’

That night, I stretched out my foot purposefully to see if it would tickle (caress actually) me. To my surprise, it didn’t. I waited for quite a while. It was just moving along the breeze, nothing more. So the spirit was real. It knew I went searching for the truth. Is it angry now…?  That’s what concerned me.

After a while, I moved up my foot and touched its tail. In a flash, it was vigorously shaking and slamming on my foot. Thank God it was feathers… There was no pain. Clearly, the caressing has changed to an angry slap now. It was real.

How can I live with this? I need to end this somehow. I sat upon my bed, pulling my leg back. The slam stopped. It was calm now. I leaned in to take it and there!!!

It pulled up by itself all the way to my hand, its tail aiming my neck. As if it was the woman itself, who had a passion to grab me by my neck.

I gathered my wits and took it in my hand. My hands were shaking, but I had to be brave. I desperately needed to get out of this.

I got out of my house and headed towards the public waste bin which comes after a few lanes in order to dispose it. All the while I was walking in such a speed, the dream catcher was directing towards me, like a hand trying to reach out to my neck.

“Let the dreams come again, let the lady come into my dreams again, but I was never gonna let this sh*t be present anywhere near me,”  I told myself. It was all dreams, after all. I better consult with a doctor rather than going superstitious.

I reached near the waste bin. The dream catcher was now swirling violently. I kept it away from my face. I smashed it furiously several times before putting it on the ground. I kept its tail under my foot and took the lighter out from my pocket. “NO MORE MESSING UP with me”, I whispered. I lit its head first, and then all over the feathers till the tail.

Its swirling started to descend and became still. All the feathers and thread were burnt to ashes, I made sure. The beads and the wires were burnt, but not completely. I sighed at my ugly dream catcher, slowly picked it up. It wasn’t moving anymore. I tried shaking it, no movement. THANK GOD. I disposed it in the bin. And walked away. That night, I slept well. 

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Day ‘final’ 🤗  🤗  🤗

I woke up in the perfect manner possible, peacefully. That was a fantastic day. Everything came in favor of me. Perfect. Finally, I was happy. That night, I slept a little late. I came home late, after treating myself. I was tired like anything when I jumped upon my bed.

It was a habit for me to look first at the dream catcher whenever before bed, whenever I woke up. That hasn’t changed. Well… It would take time to change things right. That day too… It was for the dream catcher my eyes searched first when I woke up. The memory of getting rid of it hasn’t come. It will take a while… I knew. And before sleeping, I was staring at the blank spot of my bed. The dream catcher was there no more.

I missed the tickling actually… Weird, but true. I missed it.

I was thinking of the chain of events that happened with my ‘once beautiful‘ dream catcher and fell asleep slowly. In the middle of the night, I heard a loud scream. I nearly woke up from my sleep, and as usual, my eyes went in search for the dream catcher. It took a moment for my brain to think it was not there anymore. My vision was blurry, and I saw something by the window.

HER AGAIN!!! The same woman, in her fur coat. Eyes gleaming… Smiling ear to ear. She was sitting by the window this time, staring right at me.

I was gasping for breath, and tried to reach for the lamp. I blinked my eyes a few time, and shook my head. My vision was clear now. Before switching on the lamp, I learned that she was not there. My head is playing with me again?

Her smile… I can’t get that out of my head. When I saw her in person, and in dreams, her smile was the one thing which I loved, which I was also afraid of. Such a seductive smile which was warm, also devilish. I was thinking about those before sleep, and that’s now making me see things. I really needed help from an expert. Deciding that I would find a solution the next day, I went back to bed again. This time, leaving the lamp turned on.

I laid on my back, fingers twined with each other placing above my stomach. I fell asleep soon. That’s a good sign. I could fall asleep faster at least. But that didn’t go well for long.

The tickling I missed, it came again… I dared not to open my eyes. It was not on my foot, but on my hands. What’s happening….? Is it my head, or is it a dream? I felt something on my hand all the while it tickled. It stopped a while after. I sighed, and slightly opened my eyes. There was nothing. What the hell my head is doing to me…? I lost my sleep.

I kept one hand on my stomach holding tightly to my dress, and the other above my forehead, palms facing upwards. I was running a list of names in my head to seek help the next day. I got three names, and thought of calling them in the morning. I can’t let my head play like this with me anymore…

Cracking my thoughts, I felt that tickle I missed again. On my palms. In, my palms actually.

I got up in a jiffy and flipped my palms to see what is it. 

It was a blue feather, unburnt, fresh, of my ‘once beautiful’ dream catcher…

One feather escaped while I was smashing it; The token came back to me… 

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The dog who never listened to anyone.

I love dogs. I used to have one. HAD. So I hope you would understand how I would feel upon seeing another. By seeing another dog, memories of my dear one would strike me. And I would try my maximum to treat them the way I did to my baby.

After my baby, my parents never allowed me to have another one. So, buying the other dogs some food was all that I could ever do. Sometimes, I couldn’t. At such times I would just spend my time observing them. Their innocent eyes pleadingly staring at people for food… And for the reason why they don’t have a home. If I was ever in a position to have them all, I definitely would have them all.

Going by my circumstances, the only thing I can do is to buy them food. I never do pet them, and I never encourage others to pet them too. The only advice that I give to my friends on this matter is that “Never call them near you just because you get to touch them and have fun.” They come to us when called expecting for food, not touch. If you cannot give any, what’s the point in giving them hope? I’ve seen many people shooing them away for no reason, and also those kinds of people who would just rub on their head and go just like that, crushing the poor souls’ hope.

*****

One fine day, I encountered an incident. This homeless poor thing, a color of brown and white was walking along with a man. He was then feeding the dog. One thing I noticed was that the dog wasn’t giving attention to anything else, just the food. The man seemed to be talking at him, but the dog never even cared to raise his eyes to look at him. I was thinking, “What’s wrong with him? I mean, any dog would look upon being called.” I clearly knew this one didn’t belong to that man. The people nearby were making noises like anything but this dog… Never mind anything. Maybe he is that much hungry.

He snapped once and continued talking. The dog was still munching on his food.
“So arrogant…” I thought. Then I remembered how my boy used to get distracted even by the tiny things in such a place. He would chase a bird, on his way if he heard something else he would go for it. Like that, he kept on getting diverted. Even while hand-feeding him!! It was hard to manage him in an open space, and I was portraying this dog’s behavior in my baby. How easy it would have been for me if my boy ever stayed like that.

My thoughts were interrupted when some guy tripped his foot on that dog, and it looked upon that guy to give him a death stare. The guy never cared to look back, hence never saw the face of that dog. He continued eating, and the man continued speaking. I started to enjoy the scene. The man was speaking some stuff to the dog, and the dog was giving no damn to him. And then, the man said something and rubbed this dog’s head. I expected a death stare from the dog, but it looked up at him, and licked his wrists! I couldn’t figure out what was actually happening there. The man smiled and got up to buy something from a shop nearby.

I could see that the dog had very little food, and that man was going to get some more for him. I had two pieces of cookies with me, and I felt like I should give him those. The dog was now facing the shop in which the man was standing. I was right behind and called him. He wouldn’t even care to look back. The dog shared a strong bond only with that person, perhaps. I called him one more time and kneeled beside the newspaper on which he had his food. I broke the cookies in half and called him one more time, and the man addressed me “Mam”. I looked up, he was standing at some distance, the dog still facing him. He had some biscuit pack in his hands.

“Oh hey. I thought I could give him this”, I said, by raising a piece of cookie. He smiled. He walked towards me and the dog got up to turn to my side. When he saw me, he stood still and hesitated to come any further. I waved the cookie in my hand and said: “Here boy”. Then I put it in the newspaper. The dog slowly walked towards it, sniffed it, and had it. I was happy that the dog came to me 🙂

The man said, “He never listens to anyone.” I smiled at him and was about to say something about training.  He continued, “You should call him by tapping him. Else he wouldn’t understand. He’s deaf you know.”

I didn’t know what to say. That was the first time I saw a deaf dog. I was speechless and was staring at him eating the cookies. Before knowing the situation, I judged him arrogant. That guilty feeling came in… And I felt great about the man. Only someone of good heart could do all this.

The man sat opposite me, opened the pack, and gave some biscuits to me. I cracked them and put it on the paper. I then rubbed my hand on the dog’s head, and he rubbed up against my palm too… His eyes reflected back his inner soul. The fear, the hope, the love… Everything.  I fed him the rest and walked away, knowing not what else I could do.

Severus Snape

Severus Snape. He’s the hero behind the scenes. In my view, he is the real hero, who protected the central teenage character Harry Potter all along. J.K Rowling developed such a wonderful character, who according to me, IS THE BEST. Why do I love him so much than Harry Potter? I’ll let you know.

Severus Snape is described as a stubborn, cold-hearted, sarcastic, unfriendly and introvert kind of person all along the story. It was difficult to read where his loyalty lied. He was filled with mysteries. His true character was concealed within himself. He was a professor, who was always outstanding since his small age. He mastered dark arts, and defense against dark arts, and potion making. It is obvious to hate him simply for being rude to the central character Harry Potter, but in the end, all the critics fell in love with him, for the man he was.

The forever mysterious rude man had a heart somewhere in him. He was a one-woman-man, who never let her know that he loved her. That woman was none other than Lilly, Harry’s mother. He loved her from the first moment he met her, before joining Hogwarts. Both were gifted with magic and hence joined Hogwarts together. Lilly never knew about the feelings he had for her. While Snape loved her secretly, she found her love, James (Harry’s father). Snape, however, continued to love her.

James was quite popular in the school, a talented seeker in Quidditch games. Though he was never nice to Snape. James bullied him a lot, and Snape rarely reacted. Perhaps it was because of Lilly. This grew the anger and hatred of Snape, which he masked it forever. This somehow helped him in a manner that no one dared to be friends with him, and never became a thing to be taunted. But love found a place in his heart. He loved Lilly even then, without her knowledge.

By the time Lilly and James left the school, Snape became a professor at Hogwarts. Lilly and James soon had their firstborn, Harry Potter. But fate had its play with all of them. A prophecy messed with their beautiful lives. The prophecy indicated that Harry would be the cause of the destruction of the Dark Lord, Voldemort. Voldemort gathered followers and set out to kill Harry. Snape came to know about this and sought the help of Dumbledore, the principal of Hogwarts. Snape had no love for Harry; but for Lilly, he was panicking so much, for he knew Voldemort would destroy the entire Potter family.

Dumbledore failed to keep his promise. Everyone but Harry survived. Harry survived because Lilly’s love for him, and her spell rebound the death curse that Voldemort cast on him, and Voldemort was nearly destroyed, but not dead.

Snape was never a broken man, but he became one. How does it feel like seeing the corpse of someone whom you loved ever since your childhood? He felt it. He held Lilly’s corpse in his arms. He knew Voldemort would regain his strength and come back, and Harry would be in danger. Since Harry bore a part of his beloved, Snape decided to take care of him. This time too, without his knowledge.

Many times, Snape earned the suspicion and disrespect of Harry while Snape made it seem like he never cared. He continued to protect Harry and made sure that he was all right. And he made sure that Harry remained unfriendly to Snape, due to his security reasons. He loved Harry because of Lilly, and at the same time hated him because of James. None but Dumbledore knew about this. Dumbledore used the words “He got his mother’s eyes” to calm down Snape whenever he spoke ill of Harry. Those words reminded him that Harry was his beloved’s son.

An occasion which proved the undying love of Snape to Lilly was, producing a Patronus charm, which had the figure of a doe, the same as Lilly’s. Snape carried all the burden of losing his love in his heart, at the same time stood strong in protecting his love’s child. Dumbledore perhaps saw Harry as a means to put an end to the Dark Lord, whereas Snape dedicated his whole life to preserve the last bit of his love. It cost him his life itself.

Snape continued to be mysterious, and it was hard to tell where his allegiance lied. Even the Dark Lord was fooled. Moments before his death, when Harry too was about to run into his death, he instructed Harry to collect his tears and take it to the pensieve, so that Harry can have a clear idea of the situations, and do the best for all. Right before his death, Snape uttered: “You have your mother’s eyes.”

Harry was confused but did exactly as instructed. A chain of events was reflected which showed what exactly was Snape. Harry then understood why Snape was concealing himself. How Snape transformed from naive to arrogant. What all burdens he had to bear for protecting Harry’s life. And yes, how much he loved Lilly. Harry understood that it was Snape, who protected him all along. Harry regretted misunderstanding him.

The critics of Snape changed their words after this extract of the story: The reflection that Harry saw includes an incident in which a doe shaped Patronus charm came for his assistance. He never had the idea that it was Snape. Dumbledore witnessed this and asked if he loved Lilly after all those time. Only one word came out of Snape’s mouth, “ALWAYS”.

He fulfilled the purpose of his life and died in peace. It was a late understanding Harry had about Snape. He was grateful to Snape, and also had regret in misunderstanding him. Harry named his child after Severus and Dumbledore, the two persons who risked their lives for him, and tells his child that Severus was the bravest man he has ever known.

In this way, Snape, who never cared about his dignity and popularity, who never cared to earn anyone’s love (or never tried to impress anyone), earned the love and respect of Harry and his friends. He finally had a good place in his bit-of-beloved’s heart.

The real seductress who can turn you into stone!!

Name’s Medusa. She was a real woman once. Sultry her voice, lusty features, deep sharp eyes. No one can help with taking a second look at her. She mastered seducing and had all those men to herself. Once she had an encounter with Poseidon and almost got into an affair. Enraged by this, a goddess, Athena, cursed Medusa for this sin. A powerful spell was cast on her for eternity. Usually, the curse on beautiful women would be by taking away their beauty. Athena had another plan. She cast her spell in such a way that she could be with no man ever. No one would dare to look at her, whilst her beauty remained the same.

All her features but her hair and eyes were unchanged. Her hair locks were replaced with snakes. Alive, always hissing ones. She could shapeshift into a snake too, upper body remaining the same. And her eyes… OMG. Her eyes!! Men always stood frozen at her look. One wink would make them go on their knees. After being cursed, eyes hitting each other never stopped. But, once they exchange their looks, be it man woman or child or even animals, her eyes would gleam at first, and they would turn into stone. Stones that are perfectly sculptured, portraying the last looks on their faces. Medusa has a whole collection of them at her residence; some are broken by herself while pissed off.

Medusa was no immortal. She could be killed like an ordinary human. But the killer should never make contact with her eyes. That was the only thing to be taken care of. She started getting threats when she started turning people into stone just like that. Earlier, she had to move away from her place looking for people. But this time, they came for her. Many men attempted to kill her but ended up in falling for her seduction. The snakes on her head would never matter to a man once he hears her voice. Lusty voice and almost-singing-lullaby like tone always made men kneel before her.

Many tried and failed. Those who failed earned a place in her sculpture collection. No man who entered her place has ever returned. It is said that only one person succeeded in this mission. Perseus, half-god half-human, who never fell for her seduction. He had her head and burned her body.

Athena’s curse was for eternity. But due to her intensity of anger, the curse went beyond control. Hear head was separated from her body, but still, the lifeless eyes could still turn people into stone. It is a myth. And if it was real at all, I wonder where her head would be now, eyes gleaming; waiting for someone to come.

Dad – an existing proof to show the world that castle and kingdom is not at all needed to raise his princess and prince.

Dad. The second best word that comes from a baby’s mouth. And also the first love.

From its first breath, a baby would really feel the care that is given to it and the mother from him, and the struggle to keep the excitement and tension he had to himself just to keep both of them comfortable. A mother nurses the child, feeds him, whereas dad makes a good company. The baby understands its mother is tired, and it’s fun to have the dad around while she is away.

Dad – he is the one who teaches all the good lessons. From smiling to standing on your own legs. He is the pillar of a family. He keeps their prince and princess happy like anything. He can be really stubborn and stonehearted at times, but once you are in his shoes you will understand why that was for. He can be the good partner from your first breath to the end. Till he can.

Dad is an existing proof to show the world that castle and kingdom are not at all needed to raise a princess. His arms and a place in his heart is more than enough. He keeps her the safest at the best possible measure. Mother teaches her how to deal with life, Dad teaches her how to face life and how not to be a puppet to the world. He shows her what is love, and how to love. She learns quite a great deal about life and love from him.

That is the exact reason why she seeks the qualities of her dad in every man.

No wonder why girls are titled as “daddy’s little girl”, or “daddy’s princess”.  It is because he is truly a king to her girl, and she is that perfect queen-to-be, whom he is raising.

Daddy’s little prince… Of course, it is understandable why he is not treating him in the way he treats his princess. He wants his prince to be another King, who no longer needs the help of him to be taught, and teach lessons. He prepares his prince to be that perfect king, teaches him love, a little bit stubbornness, and points him in the right direction so that he can stand perfectly on his own in his life, no matter what happens.

He prepares his prince to face “fatherhood” when the time comes, and he ensures that he does it well without anybody else’s help, not even from the “King”.

The sacrifices he made to raise his child, and have a good life can be compared with nothing else. The wedding vows that the couple makes, he swore it already when you were not even in a proper shape in your mother’s womb. And unlike the couple, who may/may not forget the vows, he keeps it unbroken and will continue to do so, till his time comes.

Dedicated to my first love,

I love you.

– Your little girl.

The bright side of thunder

Are you scared of thunder? Whether you are, or not, take a little time to walkthrough Avi’s story.

Avi, a 5-year-old boy, who just started going to school, had all the qualities to be a leader of his little gang. Why he lead them? Of course, his bravery and smartness. But his little soldiers never saw him running when the thunder hit. There was no way to get to see him losing his “bravery” as he will be in his own space while storms. He was afraid of thunder and lightning like anything.

Whenever it happened, he tried to control himself from shivering so much, as it will make others think he was weak. He used to be tired than usual when returned from school, whenever he had to withhold his fear. While at home, he used to run straightaway under his blankets and scream loudly to get rid of his fear. And he shouted for his mom, for he was afraid of the dark too. It was not clear why he was afraid of thunder so much, but there was a person watching all this. His father.

One day, when he ran to from outdoor to get under his blanket, his father stopped him halfway and talked to him. Avi never hid under his blankets thereafter. Whatever his father spoke to him at that time changed the boy’s attitude and managed somehow to overcome his fear.

His father would have gone through the same situation as Avi. He understood better. While his mother lets him know that she was there for Avi which only encouraged him to run from his fear, his father took a step in teaching him how to face it. The father and son had only such a little conversation between them:

F: “Son, I know these things are scaring you. Guess what? I was scared too when I was of your age. And it was not easy to get out of it.”

A: “How did you then?”

F: “Well, my dad said something to me, and then I changed. Would you like to hear that?”

Avi nodded.

F: “He said,

““What was the need to run like hell upon seeing the light and roar? Look outside; there are a lot of people walking coolly not bothering about any of this. You have a great life ahead of you, son. And this is nothing compared to what you will have to face.””

A: “How did that help you, daddy?”

F: “That was not it, he said something else too. Listen carefully. He said,

““Don’t you just give up on hearing that sound. Think on the bright side. It is only telling you that rain is coming. You love rain, don’t you? Then why should you be afraid of something that gives you good news?””

“Think, Avi. My father had a point in it. Why should I run away from something that hasn’t done any harm to me yet? When something good is gonna happen, why should I give focus only on the other part?”

A: “That means, I don’t have to run anymore from it, right daddy?”

F: “You don’t have to. Just think that the thunder is giving you a signal so that you can play in the rain soon.”

Avi thinks for some time and then smiles at his father.

F: “That’s right dear, you just beat your fear. You did it better than me.”

Afterward, he took his son to the yard and they both started playing football in the rain. This time, Avi looked more confident, and happy. A lightning hit by the time, and he never ran away like he used to. Instead, he jumped up and down and looked at his father, while laughing aloud. Yes, his father showed him how to face it like a man.

But the lesson that Avi learned from his father, he made sure that it didn’t confine with the matter of rain alone. Every time when he had to face something, his remembers his father’s word. He looks on the bright side, and face it like a man, just like his father taught him.