The wind just spoke to me!

 

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The wind just spoke to me!
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“Why were you crying?” I heard a whisper. The empty compartment scared me already, left me wondering who was the spy. “Are you ok?”, I heard again, it nearly got me jumped. It’s my crazy head, I said to myself. Though still trying to find out who’s it. Some passenger opened the door and something else blew on my face. I d freaked out!!
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“Hey, you ok?”, asked the spy. And blew again on my face. As my tresses flew back, the chill on my spine knocked some sense into me. It wasn’t just a spy, it was the wind. It could speak??? I never knew…
“You were watching me?”, I asked.

“Still you didn’t answer me”, complained the wind.

“Why were you watching me?!”, I was annoyed this time.

“I saw you alone crying, while I was on my way”, it spoke. “And I felt bad.”

“You actually care?”, I was curious.

“I do. Just tell me you’re ok…”, Its politeness and care got me this time.
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“Even if I wasn’t ok, what could you possibly do?”, I asked.

“Whoah, that’s rude. I’m an immaterial being. In this form, I’m best at doing only one thing and sadly no one notices it.”

“What? What are you good at?”, I asked.
“THIS”, said the wind, and blew on my face so coolly and softly
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Almost as if it was caressing me. On my hair, on my face, on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and felt it. The wind actually cared. Not just for me, for you too… Remember the time when you were sad, staring at nothing, and the wind blew on you? Everytime it happened. And we never cared to notice. Yet the wind never stopped caring. I was recalling those moments while it was caressing my face. I smiled. I felt good. Care and kindness comes from not just persons like we expect. Every little thing, even left unnoticed, matters ♥️
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Seeing that I’m ok, the wind kissed me goodbye and set its course. I was still smiling, with my eyes closed, grateful for the company it gave me everytime with no demands.

Trust your instincts first ♥️

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How I kept leaning on to the wrong shoulder(s)… I paid a great price. 

I was blind, naive enough not to look, that I put my trust in the wrong soul. My inner sense kept on telling me something is wrong, but I had a heart so tender which made me choose otherwise. All those days in which the pillow felt my tears, I felt bad that I never trusted my instincts. The tender little heart of mine then misguided me, asked me to hurt myself. Or to spill the pain to someone else. On anybody, anybody at all. My inner sense still rang the warning bell…! 

I paid the price for listening to my heart. Or putting faith in it while it was not strong enough. The pain I felt on my bosom, was caused entirely by my fault. Because I failed my senses when they were guiding me right. Who am I to blame anybody anyway, when I trusted them more than myself…?!

My own fingers pointed against me, and I admitted it. It’s only when you accept your mistakes, you’ll be able to overcome them. It’s hard, yet I succeeded. My heart is stupid. I had to follow my senses, and make my tiny little heart follow them too. Make them partners in crime. 

The tender beating meat shed its skin, hardened over time, and is now something trustworthy. It doesn’t ask to get hurt or hurt anyone anymore. The occasional pain which pops up is treasured, nobody even knows it’s there.

Live and let live, forgive and forget is all that the partnership does now. Why worry? I live freely, not anymore relying on shoulders, for I have my own, for I don’t cry anymore. I got everything that’s needed, within me.

How can she not love herself?

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How can she not love herself?
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Well, when she looks back at her old self, she feels ashamed. She had all the potential to love every inch of herself but sadly, she forgot to. Her naive mind, old century judgements, budding boldness… Everything took time to strengthen up.
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Meanwhile the old self was content with pleasing everyone but her. And where did she end up? Into a pit of loneliness which she dug. In which ‘letting used’ was the very foundation. In which ‘cry for help’ was the walls. She battled and screamed, no one listened. Those who passed by gave a mere try which was never helpful, but harmful at times. How easy it is to rip apart something(one) while vulnerable. The deep breaths and drying tears gave her strength, and hope. She patted on her shoulder, and had to kick and claw her way out of that deep pit. She failed, but never gave up. She fell. Broke her nails. Peeled her skin off. Broke her knees. But she made it ❤
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It took so much of going through for her to finally understand that, in the end, all that matter is her. Her happiness, her safety, her existence. She owns a curve on her lips which annoys those who want to see the old she. Who is she to care about your concerns?
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Now she is someone who is not hesitant to talk ‘at’ your face. Is polite, but fierce. Loving, yet hateful. Her nails broke once in the struggle, but regrew strong enough to draw blood from you. Her pleasure is now in keeping herself cozy. She grew fond of herself, who never abandoned her everytime, good and bad. How can she not love herself?

#myquotes #narcissist

Cat or a dog person?

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I love dogs. Oh, I love cats. Wait, I love birds. Oh no, I love fishes too!!! Basically, I love every pet. I guess almost everybody does.

Well, the controversy has always going on between dog persons and cat persons. Some say dogs are the best, some say cats are the best. People who never ever pet either of them also have come up with their opinion.

Dogs and Cats are special. They are unique in their own way. I have pet both of them, and I’ve got an opinion. Am I a dog person, or a cat person? Please don’t ask me that ever again. I love both!!! If you present me with a dog and a cat and ask me to choose between them, I would choose them both, or not choose at all.

But do you know that there’s an irony in the name? Dog persons have more of an attitude like cats, and cat persons have more of an attitude like dogs. Is that true??

Here I am going to talk about dog and cat persons, who love ONLY the respective animals. People who love them both are a whole different level and doesn’t match with anything that I am going to talk about. Note the point.

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Coming to what I understand of dog persons….

They are not like dogs. When you want to be the master, you want to feel loved, you seek loyalty, you need company, you want a feeling of being protected by, you want a guard, congrats! You are a dog person.

Why do we love dogs? It’s the same qualities that I just mentioned about them makes us love them. Dogs will love you no matter what. You give a whack to them multiple times, you leave them starved, yell at them…, still they will wag their tail for you. It’s not only about loyalty and love. Their protectiveness towards us… Makes us feel special. It’s like having a body-guard who is cuddly, cute and at the same time can be our companion too.

A person who needs this all-in-one package, plus doesn’t expect to have a challenge in going well with each other, will definitely go for a dog. Because deep down, we know, no matter how bad we are, there’s this furry bundle to love us. (Or worse, there are people who use these poor things as a tool to end their anger and frustration. Yes, people like that exist.)

We are the perfect homosapien to them, even if we are not perfect.

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What are cat persons to me?

Gods. NOT A TAKER, BUT A GIVER. Persons who have taken up the challenge of being loved. And definitely not like a cat.

Cats are absolutely strange and unpredictable, naughty to the core, unreadable, yet lovable and good to have. Nobody knows what’s on its mind. Going by the attitude, it’s hard to read if cats really love you or not.

It’s not like cats are bad. Their behavior depends upon the persons’ character who approaches them. They judge you at first sight. It’s the cats who make us realize there’s something wrong with us. They would come to you when hungry and shows you where you stand right after feeding them.

My experiences with cats were always different. I’ve been in interaction with kitties and their parents. And I understood, in most cases, to develop a bond with them, we must be in touch with them since their young age. But still, no affection guaranteed. Or else, we have to try and be special, just like they are.

In a family, where a cat is the pet, not every member will be lucky enough to get its true affection. Plus, a specific thing to point out is the hell of a mess that it can make in your home. They are adorably messy in every sense. Still, if a person chooses to love them, they are GODS.

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Earning the love of a dog is easy. Feeding it would be enough. They’ll, in fact, love anyone easily. Even the aggressive ones can be made friends with a person if he put some effort into it. If I visit my friend’s dog regularly, and if I am friendly with it, he’ll love me too. We can train it and make him do tricks, make him obey us like we want (not all dogs are same, there are exceptions). See? Dogs are less effort.

But cats? Oh, God… You have to explore the deepest of your patience level. It’s a whole different journey being with cats (not all cats are the same, there are extremely friendly ones too). Just feeding them is never enough to earn their love or attention. Training them? Take that risk. They might shrink to the level you expect for a while, but unlike dogs, they’ll spring back to what they really are in time.

To a dog, you are the GOD. To a cat, it is the GOD.

Dog persons since experience all the love n care n affection all to themselves, they tend to expect the same from other people as well. They will, of course, love others, but with a little effort. In fact, it is natural for them to expect other people to behave like a dog. They would love dogs more than people as dogs give what they want. They tend to be the TAKERS, just like a cat. But tender in the heart.

Whereas cat persons would know a number of ways in which they can love other people. They earn love with effort. They’ll adjust with anyone. They are the people who actually know how does it feel like being ignored, and they tend to be the GIVERS, just like a dog. But strong.

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That was my whole point. Dog persons are actually cats and cat persons are actually dogs. And people who love em both, are divine at heart.

**** When a cat and a dog is put together, we can see the beauty of love, lovely fights, naughtiness, care, and cuteness of all levels (provided they know each other). Being natural enemies, if they can create such wonderful bond, imagine a person’s heart who can love them both, or in fact all the animals. Try not to stick on to one species… Expand your heart and explore more ***

 

INCEST

Did just “eeeewwww” or “yuck” came to your mind? Sensitive minded ones can stop reading right now. The ones who read this, I’ll take it that we share the similar vibe 🙂

Incest is not much a discussed matter. Well, discussed as a crime though. Is that really relevant? My view on this is somewhat different.

The term incest became widely discussed one after the GOT series. Earlier it was considered a crime, now it’s treated as something to make memes. I am not driven mad with the series. Neither am I interested to take part in the ‘so-called sin’. If thoughts like that crossed your mind, please feel free to set it aside 🙂

Now coming to my point, why I don’t do “eeww” to Incest? 

I am sure you know the theory about “Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin. If not, please do read.

Every form of life that we see today, is a result of evolution. Evolution from a single cell organism. Life started to form in water. That single-celled being thrived in the salty waters somehow and found the way to land. It later evolved, adapted itself to the climate and started to multiply. The multiplied ones continued to undergo changes according to the surviving conditions, resulting in form variation. You must go through the images of ancestral forms of our pets, birds, everything… Literally everything including us!!

It took millions of years to end up in homosapien, followed by monkeys. (Well I do not believe evolution stopped with us actually. Maybe some other species could evolve from us.). i.e., we are a result of the animal kingdom. You see now how we are related to animals…???

Apply your logic, it’s not just the monkeys. How do you think these animals, and the very human multiplied enough to cover the lands on Earth? It’s not like they were separated into families and allied with others from the beginning. PURE INCEST. 

There was no thought like “Oh no! It’s my blood!! I cannot do this…” back then. Just like the animal kingdom, it was something common, and natural between humans. It still continues among animals, while human started “thinking”, and divided themselves into families when there were enough numbers. Though such a division never stopped them being brothers/sisters/parents with each other right? They all shared the same blood.

Imagine a situation in which there are four members in a family: Father, Mother, Son, and Daughter. They were living happily altogether all the while, and something happened. Parents got divorced. Father took the daughter, and mother took the son. The divided family now lives separately.

Tell me one thing, people who lived together when started living divided, does that erase the relationship they share? Father and Mother remain parents to the children, and the children are still siblings with each other. They live separately, that’s all. Relationships never changed. This is what exactly happened even then. The division within themselves into new families never stopped sharing the relationships they had. They all shared the same blood by INCESTING.

In short, WE, ‘we’ as in every single human in the world, share the same blood. We all are related to each other in one or the other manner.

This is the scientific side.

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Now, those who still live in the 15 minus century, who would like to stick on to the Adam-Eve theory, read ahead.

Adam and Eve are said to be the first humans. They were sent to Earth for their sin. I don’t recall any other pair was with them. No offense. Of course, they had children. How many, I don’t know. Even if it was one child, or more than 3, how do you think they all multiplied enough to fill the lands on Earth?? No need to burn your brains out. Of course, it was out of incest only… 

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You see, we all are descendants from one human pair. We share the same ancestor. My point is, that makes us all related to each other. We are separated in the name of Family, Religion, Area, Language etc. Like I said, these criteria of divisions never really can erase our blood relation. Blood relations due to INCEST.

Point to note here is that, incesting back then was not for the sake of having sexual pleasure, but to keep the generations going on. 

The guy I dated a while ago maybe was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great brother’s descendant, making him my nephew. The stranger I met could be my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather’s descendant, making him/her my parent. This is a stupid idea, I know, still relevant. I just wanted you to accept the fact that, every person that you meet, be it a stranger, a shop owner, a friend, EVERYONE is related to you. In what manner, I can’t tell.

Even you, the reader, could be my cousin/brother/sister in some way, no matter how different we are with each other 🤗🤗🤗🤗

Conclusion: We all are products of incest. We are still incesting, unaware that we really are doing it. 

 

To get clear with this fact, please do go through this video… You’ll have a better idea then. Understand the DNA journey…

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The offended already people, please clear your brain and read further 🤗

The definition of incest that you find in dictionaries and internet were made up later after the humans set up culture and traditions, names for relationships and so on… Before all these, we were a part of this incestual journey.

Please don’t think that I’m so much interested in incestual relationships. I do respect the culture & traditions, happy to have a family and what not! It is these divisions that help us live in peace… It is due to the different cultures, the world is not a boring place. We get to explore more, learn more…

So folks… You don’t have to “eeeewww” upon hearing the word INCEST. But yeah, you can freely ‘yuck and eeewww’ unless and until it is known to be done for the sake of sexual pleasure. Have a good day!!!

“അരുതാഴിക” കഥ / Menstruation journey

Scroll down to get the english version 🙂 

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അറിഞ്ഞു വന്ന കാലം തൊട്ടേ “അരുതാഴിക” എന്നാണ് ഞാൻ കേട്ടത്. എന്താണ് ഇത്രക്ക് അരുതാത്തതെന്ന് അന്നും മനസിലായിട്ടില്ല, ഇപ്പോഴും.

ആദ്യമായിട്ട് കറ (blood) കണ്ടപ്പോൾ ഒന്ന് പേടിച്ചു. നേരത്തെ ‘അമ്മ ഇതിനെപറ്റി warning തന്നതുകൊണ്ടാവണം, പെട്ടെന്നു തന്നെ പേടി തരണം ചെയ്തു നല്ല excited ആയി ഓടി പോയി വിവരം അറിയിച്ചു. ഞാൻ വല്യ കുട്ടി ആയേൻ്റെ ലക്ഷണം ആണത്രേ. ഇനി “വല്യ ആളായിട്ടൊക്കെ മതി” എന്ന പല്ലവി കേക്കണ്ടല്ലോ. ആ സന്തോഷത്തിൽ ആയിരുന്നു അപ്പൊ. ഇനിമുതൽ ഞാൻ ആഗ്രഹിച്ച പോലൊക്കെ നടക്കാലോ എന്ന് സ്വപ്നങ്ങൾ നെയ്തു കൂട്ടിയപ്പോൾ അറിഞ്ഞില്ലായിരുന്നു, ഇനി എനിക്ക് മുന്നിൽ വരാനിരിക്കുന്നത് ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നതിലും വല്യ കെണി ആയിരുന്നെന്ന്. 😞

അന്നേവരെ എൻ്റെ ആഗ്രഹങ്ങൾ പറയുമ്പോൾ ഉള്ള ഉത്തരം “വല്യ കുട്ടിയാവട്ടെ, എന്നിട്ട് മതി” എന്നായിരുന്നു. “അരുതാഴിക” സംഭവിച്ചപ്പോൾ മുതൽ “ഇനി അടങ്ങി ഒതുങ്ങി വീട്ടിൽ ഇരുന്നോണം” എന്നായി. എന്ത് കഷ്ടാന്നു നോക്കണേ…

എന്തായാലും വല്യ കുട്ടി ആയല്ലോ. ഇനി പയ്യെ കാര്യങ്ങൾ കയ്യിലെടുക്കാം എന്ന പ്ലാനോടെ ഞാൻ മുന്നോട്ട് നീങ്ങി. അപ്പൊ ദേ വരണൂ നാട്ടാരും ബന്ധുക്കളും. വന്നപാടെ തുടങ്ങി, “പോയി കുളിക്ക്, മൂലയ്ക്ക് പോയി ഇരിക്ക്, 20 അടി പൂജാമുറിയിൽ നിന്ന് മാറി നിക്ക്, അതിൽ തൊടരുത്, ഇതിൽ തൊടരുത് (ചെടിയ്ക്ക് വെള്ളമൊഴിക്കുന്നത് ഉൾപ്പെടെ), മുറിയിൽ നിന്ന് ഇറങ്ങരുത്, ഇതേ കഴിക്കാവൂ, പകൽ വെട്ടത്തു പുറത്തിറങ്ങരുത് (രാത്രിയിലും ബാധകം)” എന്ന് വേണ്ട എന്റമ്മോ… ഇതൊക്കെയാണ് വല്യ ആളാവുന്നേൻ്റെ ഭാഗമെന്ന് അറിഞ്ഞിരുന്നേ ഞാൻ ഇക്കാര്യം പുറത്തു അറിയിക്കില്ലായിരുന്നു -_- ഇതിപ്പോ ഒരു സ്വൈര്യം തരില്ലെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞാ???? ദേഷ്യം വരൂല്ലേ? കയർത്താലോ…? “ശബ്ദം ഉയർത്താൻ പാടില്ല ഇ സമയം” എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞങ്ങട് ഒതുക്കും. 🤐

ഈ കലാപരിപാടി ആദ്യത്തെ 1 2 3 മാസം നീണ്ടു നിന്നു. ശല്യം തീർന്നല്ലോ എന്ന് സമാധാനിച്ച് ഇരിക്കുമ്പോഴാണ് മാസാമാസം വില്ലൻ എന്നെ visit ചെയുന്നത്. ബന്ധുക്കൾ വന്നത് fruits and chocolates ആയിട്ടാണെങ്കി ഇവനോ… വേദനയും കൊണ്ട്. ആരോടേലും പറയാൻ പറ്റുവോ… കടിച്ചമർത്തി ഇരിക്കും. ഇങ്ങനെ കടിച്ചമർത്തി ഇരിക്കുമ്പോ കൂട്ടുകാർ ചോദിച്ചോണ്ട് വരും എന്താ മുഖം ഇങ്ങനെ ഇരിക്കുന്നെ എന്ന്. പെങ്കുട്ട്യോളോട് കാര്യം പറയും. ഇപ്പോഴത്തെ ആമ്പിള്ളേരെ പോലെ “advanced” ഒന്നും അല്ല അന്നത്തെ എൻ്റെ ചങ്കന്മാർ. ചോദിച്ചോണ്ട് വരുമ്പോ വേദനയൊക്കെ മറന്ന് ഒന്ന് ചിരിച്ച് കാണിക്കും. എന്നിട്ടും ചോദിച്ചോണ്ട് വന്നാൽ എന്നിലെ ഭദ്രകാളിയെ അവർ കാണും. എവിടുന്നാണ് എന്നിൽ ഇത്രയും കാലം ഇല്ലാതിരുന്ന ഭദ്രകാളി വന്നതെന്ന് വീട്ടിൽ പോയിട്ട് ആലോചിക്കും. അവരിൽ ചിലർക്ക് കാര്യം അറിയാം. എന്നാലും നമ്മുടെ വായീന്ന് വീണു കിട്ടാൻ വേണ്ടി ചൊറിയും. ചിലർ അർഥം വെച്ച് സംസാരിക്കും, കളിയാക്കും. അന്നത്തോടെ ഇതിനെ relate ചെയ്ത കാര്യങ്ങൾ ആങ്കുട്ട്യോളോട് പങ്കു വെക്കാൻ മടി ആയിരുന്നു.

എല്ലാവരും ഉണ്ടാക്കിയ കോലാഹലവും, തന്ന ഉപദേശങ്ങളുടെ അടിസ്ഥാനത്തിലും ആവണം, ഞാൻ ഈ പ്രതിഭാസത്തെ പുറത്തു പറയാൻ കൊള്ളാത്ത എന്തോ ആയിട്ട് കണ്ടു. “PERIODS” എന്ന് ഉറക്കെ പറയാൻ മടി ആയിരുന്നു. കോഡ് ഭാഷ ഒക്കെയുണ്ട്. “Out of range, Out of order, Engine out compllllllllllllllllllleeeetely” എന്നൊക്കെ. Sanitary Pad വേണമെങ്കിൽ സ്ത്രീജനങ്ങളെ മാത്രം സമീപിച്ചു. മെഡിക്കൽ ഷോപ്പിൽ പോയാൽ Pad എടുത്തു തരുന്ന ചേട്ടൻ ആർക്കും മനസിലാവാത്ത വിധം ന്യൂസ് പേപ്പറിൽ പൊതിഞ്ഞു ഭദ്രമായി കവറിൽ ആക്കി തരും. ഏതു brand വേണമെന്ന് ശബ്ദം താഴ്ത്തിയാ ചോദിച്ചോണ്ടിരുന്നത്. പുള്ളിക്കും നാണക്കേടാവും പുറത്തു അറിയിക്കാൻ. പാവം…

പൊതുവെ കുഴിമടിച്ചി ആയതുകൊണ്ട് date ഒന്നും ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചു വെക്കാറില്ലായിരുന്നു. അവസാന നിമിഷത്തിലാണ് Pad വേണം എന്ന് ഓർക്കുന്നത്. ഒരു ഗതി കെട്ട ദിവസം അച്ഛനെ വിളിച്ചു പറയേണ്ടി വന്നു, മേടിച്ചോണ്ട് വരാൻ. ആദ്യമായിട്ടാണ് അച്ഛനെ ഏൽപ്പിക്കുന്നത്. Negative reply ആണ് ഞാൻ പ്രതീക്ഷിച്ചത്. പക്ഷെ എന്നെ ഞെട്ടിച്ചുകൊണ്ട് അച്ഛന്റെ ചോദ്യം, “ഏതു brand വേണം മോളേ?” ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു “stayfree”. വീട്ടിൽ വന്നപ്പോ correct item തന്നെ കൊണ്ട് വന്നിരിക്കുന്നു അച്ഛൻ. അതിന്റെ കൂടെ Whisper brand. എനിക്കല്ല, അമ്മയ്ക്കായിരുന്നു. കൂടെ 2 chocolate. “കഴിച്ചോ… വേദന ഉണ്ടേൽ കുറയും” എന്നൊരു പറച്ചിലും.
അന്നാണ് എനിക്ക് ശ്വാസം നേരെ വീണത്. ഇത് അത്ര ഗതികെട്ട ഒരു ഇത് അല്ലെന്ന് അന്നോടെ മനസിലായി. എൻ്റെ അച്ഛനെ പോലെ ആയിരുന്നു ബാക്കി ആൺകുട്ടികൾ എന്ന് ചിന്തിച്ചു പോയി.

അങ്ങനെ കുറച്ചു കാലം പിന്നിട്ടപ്പോൾ മനസ്സിലായി, ഇത് ചെറിയൊരു ഇത് അല്ലെന്നു. മഹാ സംഭവം ആണ്. മാസത്തിൽ 5 6 ദിവസമേ കാലാവധി ഉള്ളെങ്കിലും ഈ വില്ലൻ വന്നു പോകും വരേ ഒരു 100 കാര്യം ശ്രദ്ധിക്കണം. കിടക്കയിൽ നിന്ന് എഴുന്നേൽക്കുന്നത് തൊട്ട് രാത്രി കിടക്കുന്നവരെയും (ഉറങ്ങുമ്പോൾ പോലും) ചെയ്യുന്ന ഓരോ minute കാര്യങ്ങളും പ്രത്യേകം train ചെയ്ത രീതിയിൽ വേണം ചെയ്യാൻ.

For example. തുമ്മൽ. തുമ്മൽ അത്ര വല്യ കാര്യമാണോ? പെൺകുട്ടികൾക്ക് ഈ സമയത്ത് “അതേ”. സാധാരണ ദിവസങ്ങളിൽ എത്ര വേണേലും തുമ്മാം, എങ്ങനെ വേണേലും തുമ്മാ൦. No worries. എന്നാൽ ആ ദിവസങ്ങളിൽ, അടക്കി പിടിച്ച് അടിവയറിനു താഴെ pressure വരാത്ത രീതിയിൽ തുമ്മിയില്ലെങ്കിൽ,പിന്നെ കാര്യം പോക്കാ. Extra blood പുറത്തു വരും. തുമ്മിക്കഴിഞ്ഞോ, തുമ്മുമ്പോഴോ ഉള്ള blood squirt feel ചെയ്യാൻ പറ്റും. Over flow ഉള്ള കുട്ടിയുടെ കാര്യം പിന്നെ പറയേം വേണ്ട. Khuda Gava!! 😱

ഇതേപോലെ പ്രഷർ വരുന്ന എന്ത് കാര്യവും ആകട്ടെ, ഉറക്കെ ചിരിക്കൽ, തുമ്മൽ, ഓടൽ, ചാടൽ, കിടക്കുന്ന പൊസിഷൻ, ചുമ etc… control ചെയ്തിലെങ്കി പോയി. വീട്ടിൽ വന്നിട്ടല്ലേ ആർക്കായാലും “Vanish (trust pink)” ഒക്കെ ഉപയോഗിക്കാൻ പറ്റുള്ളൂ.അതുവരെ stain മറച്ച് പിടിച്ചു നടക്കുന്ന ആ അവസ്ഥ. ഇതിനോടൊക്കെ used അല്ലാത്ത കുട്ടികൾക്ക് (I mean, other than sports women) നേരത്തെ പറഞ്ഞ പോലെ ട്രെയിൻ ചെയ്തു വെക്കണം ഓരോ കുഞ്ഞ് കുഞ്ഞ് കാര്യങ്ങളും. മാസത്തിൽ 25 ദിവസം free bird ആണെങ്കിൽ ഈ ദിനങ്ങളിൽ ഒരു special type athlete ആണ്.

Exam സമയങ്ങൾ ആയിരുന്നു ഏറ്റവും ബുദ്ധിമുട്ട്. എത്ര നേരം ഒരേ ഇരുപ്പ് ഇരിക്കണം. എഴുന്നേൽക്കുമ്പോൾ ആവും അറിയുന്നത് over flow ആയെന്ന്. Ads-il കാണുന്ന brandum, അമ്മ പറഞ്ഞ തന്ന പോംവഴികളും എല്ലാം ചതിച്ചല്ലോ ഭഗവാനേ എന്ന് ആലോചിച്ചാവും എഴുന്നേൽക്കുക. പേപ്പർ കൊടുത്ത് ഇറങ്ങണം, അതും എല്ലാവരും ഇറങ്ങിയതിനു ശേഷം. മുറി വിടുന്നതിനു മുന്നേ ബെഞ്ചിൽ stain പറ്റിയിരുപ്പുണ്ടെങ്കിൽ അത് തുടച്ച് വൃത്തിയാക്കുക എന്നുള്ളത് അടുത്ത മെനക്കേട്. നിൽക്കുന്ന invigilator ആണാണെങ്കിൽ പിന്നെ പറയേം വേണ്ട. Pad dispose ചെയുന്ന പണി. അത് അതിൻറെയും അപ്പുറം. വീട്ടിലായാലും, പബ്ലിക് ആയാലും.

പ്രാഥമിക കർമ്മങ്ങൾ കഴിഞ്ഞ് എഴുന്നേൽക്കുമ്പോൾ Blood Pool കണ്ടാൽ എങ്ങനെയിരിക്കും? I’m sure. ആങ്കുട്ട്യോൾ ബോധം കെടും. ആദ്യം എൻ്റെയും അവസ്ഥ ഏതാണ്ട് അങ്ങനൊക്കെ തന്നെ ആയിരുന്നെങ്കിലും പിന്നീട് അത് used ആയി. ഈ ദിവസങ്ങളിൽ അത് കണ്ടില്ലെങ്കിൽ ആണ് പിന്നെ tension വരിക.

Game of thrones-il Ygritte പറഞ്ഞ പോലെ… “Girls see more blood than boys.”  😍

ഈ സമയത്ത് പെങ്കുട്യോൾ നല്ല ദേഷ്യക്കാരികൾ ആവും എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് കേട്ടിട്ടുണ്ടാവുമല്ലോ. ആവും. എങ്ങനെ ആവാണ്ടിരിക്കും? ഇത്രേം കാര്യങ്ങൾ ശ്രദ്ധിച്ച് ചെയ്ത് ആരുടേയും കണ്ണിൽ പെടുത്താതെ നടക്കുന്നതും പോരാഞ്ഞ് കൂടെ കൂടെ വരുന്ന വേദന ചിരിയിലൂടെ കടിച്ചമർത്തി നടക്കുമ്പോൾ എങ്ങനെയേലും ഇതൊന്ന് തീർന്ന് കിട്ടിയാ മതിയെന്ന് ആവും ചിന്ത. ഈ ചിന്തകളിലേക്ക് വലിഞ്ഞ് കേറി വരുന്നവരാണ് ഇവരുടെ ദേഷ്യത്തിന് ഇരയാവുക. പ്രത്യേകിച്ച് കാര്യമൊന്നും വേണ്ട, frustration ഇങ്ങനൊക്കെയാ തീർക്കുക. Hormones-um ഇടയ്ക്ക് നിന്ന് കളിക്കുന്നുണ്ട് കേട്ടോ.

ഇപ്പൊ മനസ്സിലായോ Boys പൊതുവെ mood fluctuation എന്താ പെങ്കുട്യോൾക്ക് കൂടുതൽ എന്ന്?? ഒരു കാരണോം ഇല്ലാണ്ട് ദേഷ്യപ്പെട്ടത് എന്തിനാണെന്ന് ചിന്തിച്ച് ഇനി തല പുകയ്ക്കേം വേണ്ട. നിങ്ങളോടുള്ള പ്രേമം കൊണ്ടൊന്നും അല്ല sir… സ്വപ്നങ്ങൾ കൊണ്ട് കൊട്ടാരം പണിയാൻ വരട്ടെ. ദിതാണ് 70% കാരണം.. എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ച് straight forward ആയി “Periods ആയതുകൊണ്ടാണോ” എന്ന് ചോദിച്ച് പോവരുത്. പിന്നീട് ഉണ്ടാവുന്ന scene-inu ഞാൻ ഉത്തരവാദി ആയിരിക്കില്ല 🙊🙊🙊

ഇപ്പൊ കാലം മാറി. ചങ്കന്മാർക്ക് കാര്യവിവരം നല്ലോലെ ഉണ്ട്. സന്തോഷം. അതിനു പ്രത്യേക thanks social media-kku തന്നെയാണ്. രണ്ടാമത് അവരുടെ അമ്മമാർക്കും പെങ്ങന്മാർക്കും, പിന്നെ ചങ്കത്തികൾക്കും. 😚🤗

ഇപ്പൊ എനിക്ക് അവരോട് ധൈര്യമായി പറയാം. “എടാ ഒരു Pad മേടിച്ച് തരുവോ”. സാധനം on demand ready. “ചേട്ടാ ഒരു Pad” എന്ന് കടക്കാരനോട് പറയാൻ അവർക്കും മടി ഇല്ല. Over flow ആയാൽ തുറന്ന് പറയാം, Periods ആയതു കൊണ്ടാണ് എനിക്ക് ബുദ്ധിമുട്ട് എന്ന് പറയാം, ചൊറിയുന്ന സ്വഭാവം ഉള്ളവനോട് “Periods ആണ്, സൂക്ഷിച്ചോ..” എന്ന് forewarning കൊടുക്കാം… ഒന്നിനും ഒരു തടസ്സമില്ല. Code ഭാഷയുടെ ആവശ്യവുമില്ല.

അടുപ്പം കൂടുതൽ ഉള്ള ചങ്ക് ആണേൽ chocolate മേടിച്ചും തരും. “ഇന്നാ, തിന്ന് പണ്ടാരമടങ്ങ്. ദേഷ്യം പോട്ടെ” എന്ന് പറയും. Next second തന്നെ ദേഷ്യം പമ്പ കടക്കും. സന്തോഷം വരും. ഒന്ന് chocolate കിട്ട്യേൻ്റെ, രണ്ട് ഇങ്ങനൊരുത്തനെ കൂടെ കിട്ട്യേൻ്റെ. 🤗😚🤗😚

ചെക്കന്മാർക്ക് എന്തിലൂടെയാണ് അവൾ കടന്നു പോകുന്നത് എന്നേ അറിയൂ. പറഞ്ഞു കേട്ടുള്ള അറിവ് മാത്രം… മുൻപൊക്കെ വേദന കൊണ്ട് പുളയുമ്പോൾ എന്തിനാ ഭഗവാനേ ഇതൊക്ക പെൺകുട്ടികൾക്ക് തന്നത് എന്ന് ചിന്തിക്കുമായിരുന്നു. അത് ആ കാലത്ത്… ഒറ്റപെട്ടു പോയപ്പോൾ. ഇപ്പൊ കൂടെ ഇവരും ഉണ്ട് എന്നൊരു ബോധം ഉണ്ട്. അന്ന് അരുതാഴിക എന്ന് വിളിച്ച് അടിച്ചമർത്തപ്പെട്ട പ്രതിഭാസത്തെ ഇന്ന് “quite natural” എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് കൂടെ നിന്ന് മനസിലാക്കി ഓരോ കാര്യങ്ങൾ ചെയ്ത തരുന്ന ചങ്ക്സ് കൂടെയുള്ളപ്പോ നല്ല confidence ആണ്. എന്ത് cramps എന്ത് pain… എല്ലാം കുറച്ച് നേരത്തേക്ക് മറക്കും.

വേദന ഉണ്ട്, അസ്വസ്ഥത ഒട്ടേറെയുണ്ട്. ശെരിയാണ്. എന്നാലും നല്ല കാര്യമല്ലേ? ഒന്നുമല്ലേലും ഒരു കുഞ്ഞ് ജീവൻ വരാൻ വേണ്ടി അല്ലെ… തുടക്കത്തിൽ നല്ല കുറ്റം പറഞ്ഞേലും ഈ പ്രതിഭാസം അനുഭവിക്കാനും ഒരു ഭാഗ്യം വേണമെന്ന് ഇപ്പോ മനസിലാക്കുന്നു. Sorry boys ആ ഭാഗ്യം നിങ്ങൾക്കില്ല. അതിനാൽ ചങ്കത്തികളെ സഹായിച്ച് ഈ കുറവ് നികത്തുക എന്ന് അപേക്ഷിച്ചു കൊള്ളുന്നു 😂🙊

റാണി പദ്മിനിയിൽ മഞ്ജു ചേച്ചി പറഞ്ഞ പോലെ, “പെങ്കുട്യോൾ super അല്ലെ…???” ഇപ്പോഴത്തെ പോക്ക് വെച്ച് പെങ്കുട്ട്യോൾ മാത്രല്ലാട്ടോ, ആങ്കുട്ട്യോളും super ആ 😚😚😚😚😚😚😍😍😍😍😍😍🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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Since the beginning of the jouney, I’ve heard of grown-ups treating menstruation as something “untouchable, unspeakable etc” instead of “sacred”. I never understood why was it so then, nor I’ve now.

I got scared the first time I saw the blood stain. My mother educated me already on this, and thus I got over the fear soon, and ran to inform my family in excitement. I was so much excited that I finally became a big girl.  Being too little was a bar for me to intake my freedom. Now there’ll be no restriction right?? I started weaving dreams on my transformation to a woman, and I never realized then that it was just the beginning of tasting “womanly” life.

Till my first bleeding, my parents always said, “First you should become a woman, then we’ll think of that” whenever I shared my wishes with them. And now… “Now that you’ve become one, behave properly and be at home.” What an awkward situation dude…

Anyway, I knew my time to fly would come. And I waited for my chance, making plans meanwhile. And there landed my relatives and neighbors (By hearing the good news. You see, menstruation is considered something next to sacred in India, and it will be celebrated by presenting the girl with gifts, food, clothes, and gold. Small ceremonies are conducted, offerings are made, special diet and routine are charted out for her. It’s not entirely considered SACRED though. It carries some restriction).

There are restrictions like, girls on their period should not enter into temples, be near animals, water plants, get out of the room, must remain by the corners of a room and so on. I was ordered to undertake the same. If I ever knew I had to do all this, I would have never informed anyone! -_- I was clearly irritated and what not!! Whenever I raised my voice, my mother shushed me down. Now that I’m a grownup, I’m not supposed to do it, it seems.

It went on like up to 3 months. They all left, and I was officially free from rituals. But the real villain came every month without fail to visit me. When my annoying relatives came over with gifts, he offered me pain. I never had the guts to share about it with anyone. I suppressed that pain somehow and wore a smile to mask it. Friends used to ask me whenever they caught me sulking. I talked about it to girls, and hid it from boys. Boys back then were not so much “advanced” like these days. They knew exactly what was going on with me, but still played the fool and at times used to tease me. This kept me away from sharing such things with boys. 😦 😦

Going by the experiences I had post-period, I thought of it as something which is supposed to keep it with myself. I was negligent enough to utter “PERIODS” out loud. Instead, we girls used code words like “out of order, out of range etc.” I approached only ladies to ask for a napkin. Even at medical shops, I was shy to ask for one. The shopkeeper used to pack it with a newspaper so properly in order to hide it. Even he was ashamed to speak out loud about it, it seems. He used to lower his voice while asking for my brand preference.

I was a lazy bag always. So much lazy that I never cared to note down my dates. I always rushed in the last moment to get me a napkin. One fine day, I had to call my dad to get me one. I expected a negative response. To my surprise, he asked me which brand I wanted. I said “Stayfree”. When he came home, along with what I asked, there were 2 more. Whisper brand (for my mother), and chocolates!!! He wound up the scene with a dialogue, “Have this. Pain will go away if any.” 🙂 🙂 **happy tears**

It was then I had a proper relaxation. To be on period is not such a bad thing, I realized. I really wished if other boys could be like my dad. 😦

Time passed… And I realized that it’s a great phenomenon, though I considered it as a villain. This villain had only 5-6 days of life expectancy in a month. I really found it difficult to cope up with him as I had to take care of 100 things. Everything counts – from waking up, to a good night’s sleep (even while sleeping!!!) I had to do all the activities in an entirely new manner, in a specially trained manner.

For ex: Sneezing. Is sneezing that much of a concern??? For girls on their period, YES. She can freely sneeze in any manner, anywhere, any time on the other days. Whereas while on her period, it’s really a big deal. She should sneeze in such a manner which does not bring any pressure under her stomach. If any such thing happens, then God help her. Extra blood would make its way out in the same pressure she gives down there. A lady would literally feel the blood squirting out from her body. Scary right? You can only imagine the situation of a girl naturally having overflow would be like. 😱

Whatever activity that involves giving a pressure down there, like sneezing, coughing, laughing out loud, jumping etc. would put a girl in such a situation. I will be able to rub off the stain or prevent it from happening only after reaching home (or any similar place) right? It was a great mission for me to hide all the stain marks from everyone else and reach a safe spot. Similarly, each activity had to be brought under my control. If I was a free bird on all other days, I was a specially trained athlete during my periods.

Exam times were the moooooooost difficult ones to handle. I had to sit for at least 2 hours without moving. I would realize things has gone wrong only after getting up from my seat. If there were any stains (on my cloth or the bench), I had to wait till every other candidate went out. Afterward, I had to clean the bench without bringing anybody’s attention, another task. Having a male invigilator on those days during my exams was another headache. After taking care of all these things, disposal of the stained sanitary pad, another nightmare. Be it in home, or anywhere else.

Imagine that you happen to see a blood pool after urinating. I’m sure that boys would faint. I was in the same stage initially. Later, it transformed into a tension. Not by seeing blood, but by seeing not enough blood. 🙂 🙂

I now remember Ygritte’s (Game of Thrones character) words: “Girls see more blood than boys.” 😍

It is known that girls would be a real devil during her periods. Ever imagined why? First, hormonal reactions. Secondly, aah its a long story. She has already gone through enough on these days. She would be in different moods. She’ll be wanting somebody to ask her what’s wrong, at the same time gets annoyed on being questioned. You’ll become her prey, your bad luck. Pardon us, this is how we get over with the frustration.

Now Boys!!! Do you get it now?? Don’t you misunderstand her anger-without-reason on you as a green signal for romance anymore 😉 Though beware!! Don’t get too bold and ask her straightforward Ïs it because of Periods?” too… God help you all then 😀

Now things have changed. Time has gone forward, and has taken the boys’ mindset forward too. A special thanks to social media, for being the game changer. And also, to their beloved mothers, sisters, and girlfriends.

Now that time has done a great job, I can share the matter with them without worries. They are not at all ashamed in buying a sanitary pad for me in public. There’s no longer a need to use code words. The word “Periods” was used by me anywhere, anytime, to anyone. Gender was no longer a barrier.

The closer buddies would bring me chocolates whenever I made a drama of my frustration. In a jiffy, all the negativity would go away. Firstly, because I got chocolate. Secondly, because I feel like I’m lucky (luckiest) to have such friends. 🤗😚🤗😚

You boys know only about the frustration of ours and the stories of our cramps from our words. You never felt it. Earlier I used to curse myself for being a girl, and has begged to God to turn me into a boy. It was at a time when I was left alone in this. When the mindset of people was never forward. As of now, I am happy to be a girl, a BLEEDING GIRL, realizing it is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person. Now my friends call it a “quite natural” phenomenon and take care of me like anything. They understand my bloody demon, and knows well how to shoo it away. When I am surrounded by so much love and understanding, why should I cling on to the pain anymore? I naturally forget all of such kinds of stuff at least for some time.

The periods give me great stress and pain. So what? It’s for a good cause, we all know. To experience this journey, one must get lucky, one must be born a girl. I’m so sorry to tell you this boys, you ain’t lucky!! 😀 But sure, you can compensate it by helping us go through with it 😂🙊

Lots of love.

The lady pianist

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Curiosity is natural. It is not a sin. It’s quite natural of having a curiosity to find out things which we are not supposed to know; do the exact opposite of things which were told not to, only to find out what would probably happen; what’s on the other end and so on… People have a tendency to know about “WHAT, WHY, WHO, HOW, WHEN” and so on… This is a story of a curious fellow, Desmond.

Desmond is a businessman. Very successful, less-social yet a known figure among business kings. Des never had the time to go on vacation. Still, he covered almost half of the world in the name of business meetings. He was happy that way too. However, his desire was to visit Paris. Not as a part of his work, but as a tour. When his stars were in the right place, one such opportunity came. A meeting held in Paris. This time, he decided to stay for 2 weeks long, to have his vacation. He was then driven to Paris, the land of love.

Des happily got done with his purpose. He checked into a hotel, in which he had to climb 2 flights of stairs to reach his room. Room No – 13 D. Every day on his way to the room, he automatically stops by 12 D, which is exactly below his room. Now coming to why he stops by that room…

Every time he passes by 12 D, any time, he could hear a piano playing. At first, he ignored. Curiosity came over when he noticed that the piano plays every time in that room. Out of the same curiosity, Des once peeped through the keyhole. He saw a beautiful woman (well he couldn’t say for sure she was as he couldn’t see her face), her back against the door. A brunette in a white gown, playing the piano. Ok. He found out the answer to his curiosity “WHO”.

Curiosity never ends… the very next question was “WHY”. Why she was playing it every time??? Peeping through the keyhole became a habit for him. Whenever he looked, it was, all the same, he could see. One day, when his curiosity couldn’t resist, he took a peep-in and knocked on the door. The playing stopped. He expected her to look at the door, but she didn’t. She just tilted her head half-way to turn around but stopped right there. He could only figure out that she was fair. She didn’t seem to get up, and to his surprise, she sat back into her position and started playing a gentle music. He felt ashamed and more curious.

Two days after he did the same, only to get the same response. He was eager to see the pianist’s face. For one or the other reason, unknowingly he started to have strange feelings for her. His curiosity and impatience was a bad combo. He started knocking on the door in an intention to get her out every time. Every time he got disappointed. He would peep-in first, see that she is there, and knock on the door and peeps again to see her sitting idle. When this became a regular scene, he grew angry.

One day, with full anger he hit on the door. When he peeped in, he couldn’t see her, or the piano. Only the wall with a painting nailed on it. But it was playing before he banged the door. Des understood that she shifted her position. He was feeling so much ashamed and realized that she pitied him. Never in his life had he had to face such a situation. “If I am such a menace, why couldn’t she come out and yell at me at least?” he thought. He knocked on her door every day, only to listen to the music stop playing, and see the painting on the wall. Earlier, he could see her back at least. Now it’s only the wall. All the emotions started stirring up within him, and he lost his cool.

One day, when he was ready to knock on the door, he noticed something. Music has stopped playing. In fact, she has either stopped playing or has moved out. He couldn’t resist himself to peep in. He could see nothing but some red-black shade. He understood then that she is still inside, and knew that he used to peep-in. To prevent that, she has kept something at the keyhole. Now he could see nothing but red. Humiliated, he banged on the door. Nah… She didn’t have any intention to come out. He never stopped his routine from disturbing her. She never failed to disappoint him.

The time of his vacation was coming to an end. It was his dream to be in Paris for leisure. First time in his life he took a vacation and received only disappointment in the land of love. He couldn’t extend his vacation. His curiosity, eagerness, anger, and disappointment grew when the time of his departure was close. Before leaving Paris, he wanted to take one last chance with her. He did, and as usual, failed. Before leaving the door side, he spoke that he is leaving Paris in the next hour, hoping that she would hear. He heard footsteps fading. Eagerly, he took one last peep and saw the wall again. She removed whatever that was kept over the door hole when he told that he was leaving that day. Portraying himself as a complete failure, he left the floor.

Before checking out, he asked the receptionist who was she. The receptionist looked at him in wonder and asked, “You don’t know??”

He could see that everyone who was present near them was looking at him with widened eyes. Some were grinning. “Ooh… so everyone here but me knows about her!!”

The receptionist said, “She’s a pianist, sir. Lady Claire. She checked into this hotel a long time back. She rarely came out of that room. She plays that piano every time.” Desmond was confused. “Creepy thing is…” continued the receptionist, “she still plays the piano, even after we buried her.”

Desmond couldn’t believe what he heard. All the while he was after a ghost??

“She committed suicide 7 years back. We found her corpse beside the piano, and we buried her. It seems like she needs that room. That’s why we kept it closed. Everyone knows about her, none lingers much around her room. She owns the room. Not much scary for a ghost though.”

Desmond didn’t know what to think. “There’s something else about her.” Des looked up at him with weak eyes.

“HER EYES WERE RED.”

Why hold them back?

 

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Tears. It’s not just salt-water coming out of a person’s eyes. It’s an emotion. Maybe an emotion of anger, or sadness, or pain.

It is considered as a weapon at times. To escape from the real world, or to skip answering people. Sometimes it represents weakness, sometimes strength… Depends upon from whose eyes and in what situation they are shedding. Anyway, one should understand that at least they are not coming from the brain, but from the heart. There will be some genuineness in those water droplets.

Now, I don’t want to talk about those who have learned to control their tears’ flow accordingly though. Their tears will only fool those persons with a good heart.

I am a person who doesn’t cry in front of people. Because I think it will make me seem weak. But if I do the same in private, and walk away like nothing happened, then I can say that I am strong. I never hold them back. Never. Because holding my tears back will only give me more pain, and alter my emotion to something else. I am pretty sure that it’s the same with you too.

I am not suggesting anyone to let them flow in front of random people. No matter what you are going through, it will always be considered as a sign of weakness, or worst, as a sign of catching attention. This is perhaps why most of the tough guys never let it out, and feel something else much worse than they are supposed to.

Let them flow, with no one but you as the witness. Don’t hold them back. And I assure you, my friend, it will give you the best relaxation, and yes, helps to make better decisions. Use your tears, not as a tool for sympathy or escapism, but as your reliever.

 

Those imaginary wings

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Well, it’s understandable. The desire of having wings to fly.

The same feet which make you run also stops you while not necessary. Instead of using feet to “run” away from what freezes you, wings could help you much better. Imagine if you had that ability to fly… Fly away… Above the clouds and smile down at the land, because it will help you realize how those tiny moving things down there, which is nothing compared to where you hover,  has badly messed your head up. In other words, you let them mess up.

I would highly appreciate and thank the God if by some miracle that bunch of feathers grew out from me. So that I can wander wherever my wings take me, as long as they are able to. Instead of “running away” I could just “fly over” the teensy troubles and return with a relaxed soul.

Since it is understandable that such desires are so much good in a dream, I spread out my feather bunch with closed eyes, in my head. And really, it always makes me feel good to be that light feather flying along with the wind. It reminds me how small this world is, and that I get to live here only once.

With my imaginary wings, I hover above this small space, smiling down at it, seeing places, cherishing each moment that is gifted to me.